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Question
Posted by: kimberly | 2011/08/22

ex wife causing havoc

Hi Doc,
MY boyfriend is having a tough time with his ex wife, she has met someone else recently and has been telling him that the kids now prefer the new boyfriend and they asking why he doesnt come and see them as often as he should. He sees them every alternate weekend and takes them to school everymorning and phones them every night. What advise can you help with ?
he now has high blood pressure and she told him she hopes he has a heart attack !!! he is not a very strong person and i would like to intervene but i do not want to make it any worse then it already is.

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

The ex sounds like a nasty and vindictive creature, and her new boyfriend is likely to have trouble with her. It sounds as though he spends more time with his kids than most divorced men manage to do. How often does she imagine he SHOULD see them ? Or is this a ploy to try to force him to get back with her ?

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2
Our users say:
Posted by: Heather | 2011/08/22

I would say that the ex hasn''t really moved on, and is going on about the new boyfriend, how the kids prefer him, etc to make your boyfriend jealous and to get revenge. It''s petty, and if he still gets to see the kids and speak to them daily, and they aren''t saying otherwise, then I would just ignore the wife. She''s obviously trying to play games, and if your boyfriend plays into her hands (which it sounds like he''s doing) it''s just going to get worse. Next time she says that the kids prefer the new boyfriend to the father, your boyfriend should say to her that he thinks it''s great that she''s met someone that the kids like. Next time she says she hopes he has a heart attack, he should say well, sorry to dissapoint but he''s not planning on it. He should be very... nonchalant about whatever she says. She should soon get bored.

Reply to Heather
Posted by: cybershrink | 2011/08/22

The ex sounds like a nasty and vindictive creature, and her new boyfriend is likely to have trouble with her. It sounds as though he spends more time with his kids than most divorced men manage to do. How often does she imagine he SHOULD see them ? Or is this a ploy to try to force him to get back with her ?

Reply to cybershrink

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