advertisement
Question
Posted by: Am I Unreasonable? | 2010/12/01

Ex Mistress - Husband wants to go into business with her again

Please would you assist me with some clarity on an issue that my husband and I are faced with. My husband was married previously an he had an affair with someone that he worked with for 2 years .

She obviously became obsessed with him and he never ended up leaving his wife for her. She accused him of sexual harrassment and took him to the CCMA, and threatened telling his children and trying to commit suicide when the affair ended.

He finally got divorced and the affair was a thing in the past and him and I met. We got togethere and finally married. He had dealings with her at work which I was never comfortable with but had to grin and bear it. She till tried to contact him telling him he was her soulmate etc. Everything is finally over, at last.

Now the issue is that he wants to go back into business with her. I think this is a terrible idea but he says I am being unreasonable. No one knows about the affair and i cna''t speak to anyone about it because no one knows. So I just have to cry my tears silently. I don''t want him to go into business with her but he thinks I am unreasonable - Am I unreasonable?

Not what you were looking for? Try searching again, or ask your own question
Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

"Soulmate" as a single word is almost always a very ominous sign. After all the trouble you report him as having experienced from her - accusations of harrassment ( ? false? ) CCMA, suicide threats, etc., it's hard to imagine why any man would voluntarily choose to get involved with her again in any way whatever !
Such a proposal is in itself so obviously unreasonable and unwise, it is he who needs to explain why she has such utterly unique skills as to make business with her involvement irresistable.
Of course you are not being unreasonable. It is him who, on the face of it, is being irrational.

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

6
Our users say:
Posted by: Lynne | 2010/12/01

Your husband may be attracted to the ex''s assertiveness. Agree with Nia, sounds like he is still attracted to her. Remind your husband that should he go into business with her, innevitably you and her will bump into each other and it could be an unpleasant experience all round. Have you tried marriage counselling?

Reply to Lynne
Posted by: XXX | 2010/12/01

No you are not being unreasonable...this could only lead to more heartache.

Reply to XXX
Posted by: Kelly | 2010/12/01

No You are not unreasonable. I agree with Nia.

Reply to Kelly
Posted by: anon | 2010/12/01

No, you are not unreasonable

Reply to anon
Posted by: Nia | 2010/12/01

No, you are not unreasonable!

Why will he even consider going into business with a woman like that? Unless he is actually enjoying the attention she gives him and is missing it now that it is a thing of the past.

It sounds to me like he wants the affair to start all over again.

Reply to Nia
Posted by: cybershrink | 2010/12/01

"Soulmate" as a single word is almost always a very ominous sign. After all the trouble you report him as having experienced from her - accusations of harrassment ( ? false? ) CCMA, suicide threats, etc., it's hard to imagine why any man would voluntarily choose to get involved with her again in any way whatever !
Such a proposal is in itself so obviously unreasonable and unwise, it is he who needs to explain why she has such utterly unique skills as to make business with her involvement irresistable.
Of course you are not being unreasonable. It is him who, on the face of it, is being irrational.

Reply to cybershrink

Have your say

Thanks for commenting! Your comment will appear on the site shortly.
Thanks for commenting! Your comment will appear on the site shortly.
advertisement