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Question
Posted by: Babe | 2010/02/17

Ex husband wants to start afresh

Hi good people ive been away from this site for quite a while, I neeed your advise here please: Weve been separatedfor eight years and finally got divorced in 2008. Our communication lines have started to be active since late last year and now he wants us to give it another try. I realy careabout him and always wanted whats best for him. ok... our break up was merely because ofhis short temper and pride and i couldnt stand it cos we used to have really bad arguments, but now im not too sure if it will work second time around. Your honest advise will be highly appreciated.

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

I hope you're also interested in what's best for YOU ! Now, the reason for the divorce was his bad temper / anger problems - what has he done in the meantime to relieve those problems ? Has he received treatment for his anger management problems, and does it appear to have worked ?
If not, there's really no good reason to expect things to have chenged. If so, then some couples counselling, as Liza suggests, would help you both reach a more reasonable decision

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

5
Our users say:
Posted by: Tso | 2010/02/18

Personally i think reconciling after a divorce and such a long period of separation can spell disaster. Many couples have gone this route and failed. It is only loneliness and a sense of feeling you know him that can make you want to reconcile. Do you still love him? The period apart, did you date other ppl? Just let sleeping dogs lie

Reply to Tso
Posted by: Rick | 2010/02/18

Porblem is that people dont change their inner core, if he is still bad tempered and is proud, what would have changed? Those are traits that are ingrained within us. Could a selfish person become selfless overnight because he met a nice woman?

I would be very careful, and remember that he is going to put on his best behaviour with you in the ' courting'  stage.

Are there not other guys that you would prefer to start afreash with? why do you want to go back and try to warm up cold soup. There are amazing single/divorced/widowed guys out there just waiting for a decent woman.

I wouldnt go back.

regards
Rick

Reply to Rick
Posted by: Babe | 2010/02/18

Thanks so much for both your advise, I' ve also been thinking of counseling.

Reply to Babe
Posted by: Liza | 2010/02/17

I don' t think couples counseling can do any harm - even if you' re not a couple at present. You definitely have issues that need to be sorted out PRIOR to getting back together.

Reply to Liza
Posted by: cybershrink | 2010/02/17

I hope you're also interested in what's best for YOU ! Now, the reason for the divorce was his bad temper / anger problems - what has he done in the meantime to relieve those problems ? Has he received treatment for his anger management problems, and does it appear to have worked ?
If not, there's really no good reason to expect things to have chenged. If so, then some couples counselling, as Liza suggests, would help you both reach a more reasonable decision

Reply to cybershrink

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