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Question
Posted by: Nonnie | 2012/01/23

Ex girlfriend drama

I have been in a relationship with a guy now for about a month. He told me that it was over with his previous relationship with my family member. She confirmed this as well. Now, she decided that it suits her better to have him back and she is doing everything to slander my name and uses their child to get back at him. I try to understand, but it becomes too much at times and I don''t have the energy or time to play mindgames with her. She tells him that I sent her nasty messages when in fact she did it to me. She decides to stay at his mom''s place and wait for him in his bed! She demands things from him on a daily basis and he obliges, he says because of the child. She threatened suicide and he got all stressed out. He says he loves me and I feel the same way, but I''m not sure if he or I can handle all of this pressure and drama. He also tends to believe her and succumb to her tantrums and I don''t feel that I should be on the defense everytime she makes up these crazy stuff about me. They have been together for 9 years with various breakups during the period.

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

It usually takes people much longer than they expect, to get over a relationship that has ended, especially if it wasn't a happy ending. And maybe its more complicated because his previous relationship was with a relative of yours - there's always the possibility that he may have hoped to use this new relationship with you as a way of getting back close to his previous gf, your relative.
If his mom would allow her into her home at all, let alone to wait for him in his bed, (a) she's a rather odd mother, and (b) she musy be convinced the relationship is not over.
Everything you say proves they are still in an active though stormy and manipulative relationship, and sadly none of it sounds as though he loves you. Give it up and move on ; you deserve someone interest in you alone ; this episode is obviously just one of their long series of pretending to break up and then getting back together

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4
Our users say:
Posted by: Obvious | 2012/01/23

You cannot love someone after only one month!

This man is not available emotionally.

Move on , this is a no brainer.............

Reply to Obvious
Posted by: rosco | 2012/01/23

It runs in the family lol, how will you feel if you were in her shoes?

Reply to rosco
Posted by: Ph | 2012/01/23

I am sorry but did you say the Ex is " YOUR FAMILY MEMBER" ? I think the big issue is that you have always wanted to taste what your family member was tasting. They did not have a fling, they were in a 9 year long relationship and a baby. I am sorry but the question you should be asking is " how do you live with the fact that you took your family member''s partner"  . The subject of discussion should not be ex girlfriend drama dear

Reply to Ph
Posted by: cybershrink | 2012/01/23

It usually takes people much longer than they expect, to get over a relationship that has ended, especially if it wasn't a happy ending. And maybe its more complicated because his previous relationship was with a relative of yours - there's always the possibility that he may have hoped to use this new relationship with you as a way of getting back close to his previous gf, your relative.
If his mom would allow her into her home at all, let alone to wait for him in his bed, (a) she's a rather odd mother, and (b) she musy be convinced the relationship is not over.
Everything you say proves they are still in an active though stormy and manipulative relationship, and sadly none of it sounds as though he loves you. Give it up and move on ; you deserve someone interest in you alone ; this episode is obviously just one of their long series of pretending to break up and then getting back together

Reply to cybershrink

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