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Question
Posted by: Noleen | 2011/02/14

Ex-girlfriend

dear Dr Bets,
I cannot forgive my husband whom previously cheated on me with his ex. I want to believe that I am the only one he loves now " like he claims"  but it is very hard 4 me to accept that. I am also angry with the girlfriend whom always used their daughter to communicate to each other. It has been now 2 years that he''s trying to be a loving husband and help with household chores but it feels like his making things worse on my side. I am so much angry with the girlfriend that I think of myself inferior to her. I always curious of such things like who is she currently dating?, what kind of clothes does she wear or buy?, where does she work,? how much weight has she put or lost?, what type of hairstyle is she wearing,? In short, i''m curious of her lifestyle. Is this normal or should I seek further help?

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberDoc

Hallo Noleen
I think you should see a marriage counsellor - with or without your husband. You obviously have not yet come to terms with the betrayal. At the same time, remember that it will take time to develop new trust in the relationship. I know this does not really help to soothe your feelings - but how you look, what you weigh or what your hairstyle looks like is not what causes or prevents infidelity - just look at Tiger Wood's ex wife! She's blond, she's thin, clever, rich and beautiful and was cheated on. It often comes down to either a problem in the relationship or just the choice of the cheating partner to be unfaithful. You can get help at any marriage counsellor (look in your local yellow pages) or FAMSA (http://www.famsa.org.za/)
Dr Bets

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Our users say:
Posted by: cYBERDOC | 2011/02/14

Hallo Noleen
I think you should see a marriage counsellor - with or without your husband. You obviously have not yet come to terms with the betrayal. At the same time, remember that it will take time to develop new trust in the relationship. I know this does not really help to soothe your feelings - but how you look, what you weigh or what your hairstyle looks like is not what causes or prevents infidelity - just look at Tiger Wood's ex wife! She's blond, she's thin, clever, rich and beautiful and was cheated on. It often comes down to either a problem in the relationship or just the choice of the cheating partner to be unfaithful. You can get help at any marriage counsellor (look in your local yellow pages) or FAMSA (http://www.famsa.org.za/)
Dr Bets

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