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Question
Posted by: see | 2012/08/13

ex gf

My husband and I have access to each others e-mails..we even share a facebook profile.. anyway we sat and watched movies and he was bussy doing some work. asked me to check his mails since i was bussy checking mine. Anyway there was a linkedin inventation from a woman. asked who it was and said it was an ex gf. We have been married for 12 years.why does she have the need to look for him after all this time. since on his profile it says he is married.. Anyway he declined the inventation. She hasn''t been married and is single..it just sounds odd that after all this time that she is looking for him again.. mabe it is just me  but does she perhaps still have feelings for him after all this time....?

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Such events are inevitable when one posts one's contact details online, especially through the various fad "social" sites. And though I find some people can find some details about you online anyway, it's worth being more cautious than most people choose to me. Sites like LinkedIn are all about finding and making contacts and "links" for whatever reasons. Its not necessarily sinister, and that he both refused the request and let you know about it, is a very healthy sign.

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Our users say:
Posted by: David | 2012/08/28

I often wonder why guys or gals do not really " get over their first love" . I firmly believe that if this girl lost her virginity to your husband,then there will always be an eternal "  spiritual bond "  between them - you know that "  two shall become one "  theory ? Perhaps that is why she is still trying to make contact with your husband. My wife of 34 years still has this connection with her ex after nearly 4 decades !

Reply to David
Posted by: cc | 2012/08/13

well mabe it is just me..but I think she needs to let go and have no contact with him.. why start something after 12 years....her time clock is ticking in my opinion... exes should be left in the past and not be part of your future...see i will watch her closely if i was u...

Reply to cc
Posted by: Maria | 2012/08/13

I''ve had people I only know very marginally linking to me on LinkedIn. I really don''t think you have to feel threatened by this. As Rosie says, she is probably linking to everybody she knows as the whole point is to build up a network of contacts.

Reply to Maria
Posted by: Purple | 2012/08/13

My husband and I have also been married for 12 years and together for about 5 before that (we only got married as our parents kept asking, we were quite happy living together).

Both of us are facebook friends with exes, we both still have good relationships with our exes. Many years have passed since then, we broke up with them for valid reasons. We don''t see them, but time heals and we can all be civil to each other. I don''t still have feelings for my exes and I just assume my husband doesn''t either. Some of them live in far flung places and some live around the corner.

Reply to Purple
Posted by: Rosie | 2012/08/13

This is what happens when people put their details out there on various social websites. Is it worth it - I personally dont think so.

Good on your husband for owning up and admitting that it was an ex gf. That in itself should mean the world to you. With your husband''s opinion I think YOU should reply to her e-mail and being as polite as possible tell her where to get off. Maybe she''s just signed in on Linkedin and is trolling around to see who she can find - this could be the only reason why she is making contact after all these years.

Reply to Rosie
Posted by: cybershrink | 2012/08/13

Such events are inevitable when one posts one's contact details online, especially through the various fad "social" sites. And though I find some people can find some details about you online anyway, it's worth being more cautious than most people choose to me. Sites like LinkedIn are all about finding and making contacts and "links" for whatever reasons. Its not necessarily sinister, and that he both refused the request and let you know about it, is a very healthy sign.

Reply to cybershrink

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