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Question
Posted by: Anon | 2010/11/16

Ex boyfriend and moving on.

My ex and the father of my child broke up 3 years ago, the break up was due to a lot of immaturity, jealousy etc. We have come a long way from there and now we are able to have a conversation with each other and do things for the best of our child. He really is a good father, loves his daughter to bits and she loves him. He maintains her so I really have nothing to complain about on that side.

The problem is however that since the break up we have gotten back together, broken up, back together, broken up etc. If its not him coming back its me going back to him. His mother always tells me that she is convinced that this is happening because we both still love each other. Things dont work out and it seems that we are go back to each other just " to pass the time" . Dont get me wrong I do love him but i feel if we havent made a proper commitment to each other after knowing each other for 6 years, its not going happen. We are both enablers in this situation and I now feel that going into 2011 we need to clearly ascertain what is happening. Either we are together or apart. I think its best that I cut all ties with him and only have conversation with him regarding our child, there really is no reason for my to be rude or ignore him completely because we are not fighting. What should I do in this case? After many personal problems I now feel that its time that I date again and I want to give the prospective person 100% attention, and I want him to do the same. I am conflicted as to what I should do and your advice will be appreciated.

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

As you seem an indecisive pair about your personal relationship, have you thought of seeing a couples counsellor together, to understand better why you get together, part, and then repeat the cycle ? Then you would both be in a better situation to make an informed decision abou the future of your relationship.

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3
Our users say:
Posted by: james | 2010/11/17

or maybe just ask him to merry you - end of story

Reply to james
Posted by: Lin | 2010/11/16

Talk to each other openly. If you guys want to give it another go, go for relationship counselling. Do this before moving back in together. Then start off going on dates, ect. Like when you guys met.

If, as you say, you want to move on, some family counselling will help you put up some borders.

Reply to Lin
Posted by: cybershrink | 2010/11/16

As you seem an indecisive pair about your personal relationship, have you thought of seeing a couples counsellor together, to understand better why you get together, part, and then repeat the cycle ? Then you would both be in a better situation to make an informed decision abou the future of your relationship.

Reply to cybershrink

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