Our expert says:
Sounds like you're trying to have your cake and eat it, too. It also sounds as though you have a rather bad sense of timing. If you sincerely want to get back with the first guy and give it a genuine chance to work, try that, but let the other guy know broadly what's happening, that it's not about him, but that you feel you owe it to yourself and your ex to make a sseond try at this, as the circumstances have changed.
Or, if you really mainly want to have a go with the new guy, then make apologies to the ex, explain that you have committed yourself to someone else, and head in that direction.
Just don't try to head off in two opposite directions at the same time.
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