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Question
Posted by: moegoe | 2012/06/05

ex and child

my ex 18 years ago my duaghter knw 18. my ex married about 3 times and plenty boyfriends waht i know off. she abused the medical aid, old story, the court ruled no medical aid anymore, for my daughter. she managed to changed my daughters surname to that of her ex ex. whenever they have problems I must help. my daughter phoned me very worried and ask for 14 000 rand for a urgent operation, changed her mind to a 1000 rand later. i dont have money and she must go to a govermnent hospital should i feel quilty? this is a real you magzn story.

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

You are of course bound to provide proper financial support as maintenance for your daughter until she reached the age of 18 / adulthood. But you are not obliged to sponsor your ex wife, especially as she has remarried several times and seems highly irresponsible with money.
The daughter should go to a government hospital, where she should receive proper care. Her requestions such widely different sums of money is highly suspicious. And if she had to have an urgent operation, she should have been able to produce a note from her doctor / the surgeon specifying what is wrong, WHAT operation is urgently required, and what it will cost.
The girl is an adult now, and should be able to look after herself, and should have or be seaching for a job. If she has genuine problems, and her mother is apparently useless, she shouldn't use a phone call, but should come and see you and talk about the situation - its far easier for you to assess whether she is genuine and truthful when you can see her and talk with her.

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Our users say:
Posted by: cybershrink | 2012/06/05

You are of course bound to provide proper financial support as maintenance for your daughter until she reached the age of 18 / adulthood. But you are not obliged to sponsor your ex wife, especially as she has remarried several times and seems highly irresponsible with money.
The daughter should go to a government hospital, where she should receive proper care. Her requestions such widely different sums of money is highly suspicious. And if she had to have an urgent operation, she should have been able to produce a note from her doctor / the surgeon specifying what is wrong, WHAT operation is urgently required, and what it will cost.
The girl is an adult now, and should be able to look after herself, and should have or be seaching for a job. If she has genuine problems, and her mother is apparently useless, she shouldn't use a phone call, but should come and see you and talk about the situation - its far easier for you to assess whether she is genuine and truthful when you can see her and talk with her.

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