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Question
Posted by: me again | 2011/07/05

ex

Hi, when I broke up with my bf I was so relieved and knew it was the right thing to do. Now I am regretting my decision and want him back and will do anything. We only broke up a month ago and since then he has been away on business. We are still in contact (at his request) but now if I dont hear from him for a couple of days, I get depressed. I expect things still to be the same between us as when we were going out, where I hear from him everyday, with kisses at the end of his mails, etc. How do I let this go of this? I have asked him a few times to leave me alone so I get over my feelings for him and he refuses. He thinks we might get back together when his business travels are over. I dont know so much as I think we have incompatible personalities. Im a mess? Please help. Thanks.

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

"will do anything" ALWAYS precedes a foolish decision, and, often, a disaster. Surel you didn't break up with him frivolously, and without reason. Think back, and remember the good reasons why you chose to break up with him, WHY you knew it was the right thing to do, and WHY you felt so relieved. I very much doubt whether any of those good reasons have really changed.
You say the pair of you are incompatible - so what's the advantage to getting back together. Do you really feel neither of you have any better alternatives ?
You know things won't be the same as they were, and are highly unlikely to be any better - they say neurosis is doing the same thing repeatedly, and expecting a different outcome.
And if "the way they were" made you unhappy enough to break up, why on earth would you WANT things to be the same again ?
If you want him to leave you alone, leave him alone - don't answer his calls and block his number, ignore other messages from him.

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

2
Our users say:
Posted by: Logic | 2011/07/05

Important question. Why did you break up ? Were you tired of his behavior/attitude or did he indicate that he was ready to go as you were getting on his nerves?

If you were the instigator and now you want him back and make that clear to him, you must realise that you will now be on the back foot and his position will be elevated in the relationship. Will you be able to handle this? Think carefully or you may regret firing up thge relationship again.

Reply to Logic
Posted by: cybershrink | 2011/07/05

"will do anything" ALWAYS precedes a foolish decision, and, often, a disaster. Surel you didn't break up with him frivolously, and without reason. Think back, and remember the good reasons why you chose to break up with him, WHY you knew it was the right thing to do, and WHY you felt so relieved. I very much doubt whether any of those good reasons have really changed.
You say the pair of you are incompatible - so what's the advantage to getting back together. Do you really feel neither of you have any better alternatives ?
You know things won't be the same as they were, and are highly unlikely to be any better - they say neurosis is doing the same thing repeatedly, and expecting a different outcome.
And if "the way they were" made you unhappy enough to break up, why on earth would you WANT things to be the same again ?
If you want him to leave you alone, leave him alone - don't answer his calls and block his number, ignore other messages from him.

Reply to cybershrink

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