Our expert says:
I'm struggling to understand the first part of your concern - it sounds as though you are saying that you struggle to become fully erect during foreplay and after ejaculation has already taken place. If I'm understanding you correctly, then this is quite normal given that the male usually goes soft after ejaculation and it can take some time to become erect again (this period of time is called the 'refractory period'). Young adult males find that they are able to go several 'rounds', but this is more and more difficult as you age because the body needs more time to recover. So the length of time it takes for you to become erect again after ejaculation can depend on your age.
Also, men find different things arousing, so it depends on what is happening during foreplay - it may be that more direct stimulation of your penis is required for it to become fully erect.
Finally, many men have concerns about the size of their penis and most (the vast majority) of men have an adequately sized penis! There are several important points to consider here:
1. your penis size when it is soft does not determine it's size when it is erect
2. it looks smaller when looking down on it than it will from the side (as you see other men's penises in the loo's), and measuring your own may not match the average size because you might not be measuring from the same place on the penis as is done in the studies.
3. if you are heterosexual, most vaginas can accomodate any sized penis - (think that a vagina holds something as slim as a tampon, and can stretch to the size of a baby's head during childbirth). The sensitive parts of a woman's genitals are external (clitoral area) and about 1 or 2 inches inside the vagina on the front (anterior) wall - where penis size doesn't really come into play.
If your partner has a concern about the size of your penis, maybe discuss creative ways to work around this. But if your partner hasn't said anything and this is your 'stuff', assume it's okay and you're just victim to unhelpful and inaccurate sexual myths!
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