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Question
Posted by: GT | 2010/01/19

Equal physical access

Good day Family Law Expert.

I have has equal physical access to my children age 7 and 11 for the past year. One week at a time in which was forced upon by me as she refused.
The wife has attempted all ways to prevent this, so that I become a weekend dad in which I am against as her goal is money so that I can sustain her standard of living. The children are used as porns on her behalf to pay substantial amount of maintenance.
The wife absconded the common home 19 months ago because she was having an extra marital affair in which was not the first time.
I have been threatened numerous times of rule 43 to reduce my access. The child advocate office is almost completed their study and I have had 2 private psychologist reports done as well.
The doctor psychologist recommended equal physical access.
I have been falsely accused of many things such as physical abuse and sexual abuse on my son and I have been cleared by the magistrate and the psychologists as well.

In the final divorce or rule 43 what are the chances that the court will reduce my physical access or make me the primary caregiver as my wife is a unfit parent in many ways.

If equal access is given and I pay half of everything and full extra activities and medical aid. What amount of maintenance would I have to pay
I appreciate you input and advice.
Thanks

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageFamily law expert

Regarding your questions about, what your chances might be in the final divorce or Rule 43 that a court will reduce your your physical access or make you the primary caregiver as your wife is unfit, the following.

A child has a right to shared parenting when both parents are equally suited to provide it. Inherent in public policy is a recognition of the child's right to equal access and opportunity with both parents, the right to be guided and nurtured by both parents, the right to have major decisions made by the application of both parents wisdom and judgement and experience. The child does not forfeit these rights when the parents divorce.

In the interest of the children, parents first need to put aside their differences and co-operate with one another instead of working against each other.

The court will be lead by the reports of the Family Advocate and the doctor psychologist recommendation.

It is difficult to say exactly what maintenance you will need to pay as I don't have any information on your income and expenses as well as those of your spouse, but as a benchmark where everything is split 50/50, then certainly each parent will have a 50/50 contribution to make towards the maintenance. The children are entitled to financial support from both parents - even though the amount of your contributions will depend on your respective financial positions. If, for example, the father is wealthy and the mother poor, the father's contribution towards the children's maintenance will be far greater, in proportion to the mother's, than would normally be the case.

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

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Our users say:
Posted by: G-Dad | 2010/01/22

Normally the courts prefer to keep status as is to not be more disruptive to the minor kids, it all depends on the merit of the case, if I were in your shoes I will go the rule-43 option as soon as possible, make sure you have seen the family advocate and got their report as well, once the rule-43 has been granted, access and maintenance will then be a court order.

If you still get your kids on a weekly basis then try and keep it that way, specially if there is no problems, sometimes with small kids it is a bit disruptive living in 2 homes, but once adapted to their new situation it work better than kids only seeing their fathers on weekends.

It does not matter what your family feel how good dad you are, it depends what the FA think of the merit of the case and eventually the judge granting the order.

On my urgent rule-43 was, my ex oppose it with mud slinging, all about sexual allegations, even her brother stated that I wanted to run away with him and leave my family, that was so sick.

I hope that yours stay clean.

Reply to G-Dad
Posted by: GT | 2010/01/21

HI G-Dad
I have been practicing weekly removal access for 1 year already and the children are settled in.
Do you not think it will be difficult to take that away and reduce my access specifically that everybody acknowledge that I love my children and is a good caring parent. They also acknowledge that there is a good interaction between myself and the children.
The bottom line is I am a good parent and DAD

Reply to GT
Posted by: G-Dad | 2010/01/19

About the sexual allegations, I have been there, I were fortunate that I acted when I suspected what she will try, the problem for you is that she will run around until she find someone that will be willing to write a report stating that the child had been sexually abused, my ex did exactly that, from there she laid charges at the child protection unit, in my case the courts already granted my interim custody on an urgent basis at the time, later the rule-43 and interim custody had been confirmed by the courts, that judge was a difficult judge as he did not believe children should live with the fathers.
Well after my ex laid the charges I simply faxed a copy of a top psychologist report to them, the social worker assigned to the case spoke to me after the district surgeon examined my girl and confirmed that he suspected that she tried it to get custody, she lost her removal rights because of the constant sexual examinations of my girl. I were lucky I could proof everything.

Just be careful with this one, it sound like she will do anything to prevent you from having removal access.

Reply to G-Dad
Posted by: G-Dad | 2010/01/19

To be honest with you, you would have been better off when you had weekly removal rights if to had taken action when she tried to stop you, you should have gone the rule-43 way along time ago, at least that way your access is clearly defined, the longer you wait the more difficult it would be to get weekly removal access, my guess is that you will end up being a weekend dad if do not act soon.

I am sure the family law expert will explain it to you in more detail.

Reply to G-Dad
Posted by: Family law expert | 2010/01/19

Regarding your questions about, what your chances might be in the final divorce or Rule 43 that a court will reduce your your physical access or make you the primary caregiver as your wife is unfit, the following.

A child has a right to shared parenting when both parents are equally suited to provide it. Inherent in public policy is a recognition of the child's right to equal access and opportunity with both parents, the right to be guided and nurtured by both parents, the right to have major decisions made by the application of both parents wisdom and judgement and experience. The child does not forfeit these rights when the parents divorce.

In the interest of the children, parents first need to put aside their differences and co-operate with one another instead of working against each other.

The court will be lead by the reports of the Family Advocate and the doctor psychologist recommendation.

It is difficult to say exactly what maintenance you will need to pay as I don't have any information on your income and expenses as well as those of your spouse, but as a benchmark where everything is split 50/50, then certainly each parent will have a 50/50 contribution to make towards the maintenance. The children are entitled to financial support from both parents - even though the amount of your contributions will depend on your respective financial positions. If, for example, the father is wealthy and the mother poor, the father's contribution towards the children's maintenance will be far greater, in proportion to the mother's, than would normally be the case.

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