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Posted by: Candice Cape Town | 2011/04/04

Engagement plans for me &  boyfriend but now my mom is engaged!

Hello, my boy friend of a million years and I have finally decided that we would like to get married. Now we are a bit strapped for cash but we were going to buy rings and make it formal in a couple of months and hope to get married A.S.A.P. Buuuuuuuut now my mother recently got engaged to her boyfriend! Now I don’ t want to take any sparkle or attention away from her engagement, but at the same time I don’ t want to have to wait until they get married (as the boyfriend/ fiancé  needs to sell his house down in Durban and find a job here and relocate to where we are) - that could be forever (as he’ s been planning to move here for about two years already). I don’ t know what to do- should I wait (bearing in mind it would be her second marriage from her first serious relationship since my parent divorced 13 years ago) or should my boyfriend and I go along with our plans (again, it is her second marriage and they aren’ t planning a big thing anyway)???

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Gosh, a million years ? Did you keep pet dinosaurs ? Why not simply discuss it calml with your mom, making the excellent points you make in your message here ? She should understand - maybe she'd be a bit puzzled or even suspicious about why after a million years you both so suddenly want to get married so rapidly - and may even have a timetable for her own nuptuals that would clearly not interfere with your own plans

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6
Our users say:
Posted by: KKK | 2011/04/06

Wrong foot CS - judgemental MMmmm. So you are not perfect after all.

Reply to KKK
Posted by: Candice Cape Town | 2011/04/04

Michaila, my mom is in her 50''s. She and this guy have been dating for about a year? My boyfriend and I have been dating for 7 years and the reason why we haven''t gotten married yet is that we started dating when we were still at school. And it''s only just now that boyfriend has opened up to marriage, whereas I''ve been on about it for about 2 years. :-)
Truth- thank you.
Romany- thanks, I just don''t want to be selfish or anything take attention away from her.

Reply to Candice Cape Town
Posted by: Romany | 2011/04/04

I agree with Thuth. Your mom will be over the moon for you.
As long as you do not get married on the same day.what is the problem?

Reply to Romany
Posted by: Truth | 2011/04/04

Any loving mother puts her child first.
Your engagement and marriage takes priority. After all she had her day with her first marriage.

Reply to Truth
Posted by: Michaila | 2011/04/04

Ag man, thats not a big deal<  sure your mum will be happy for you. Dont stress, just tell her that you were planning to get engaged, maybe it can be a mother daughter thing. How old is your mum that she needs to be engaged first?? kind of strange for me...Since you with your boyfriend a million years then im sure she will understand.

she shouldnt mind, if she does then its weird coz you are her daughter....

just get engaged already!

Reply to Michaila
Posted by: cybershrink | 2011/04/04

Gosh, a million years ? Did you keep pet dinosaurs ? Why not simply discuss it calml with your mom, making the excellent points you make in your message here ? She should understand - maybe she'd be a bit puzzled or even suspicious about why after a million years you both so suddenly want to get married so rapidly - and may even have a timetable for her own nuptuals that would clearly not interfere with your own plans

Reply to cybershrink

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