Our expert says:
Considering that you effective have paid for her business, and all the expenses including that of her son, your step-son, she seems to be showing thoroughly bad manners as well as ingratitude. And there is no reason for you to have no sense of contro over what you choose to pay for. It sounds more as though she is using you than married to you.
You should see a shrink or at least a very good GP for your own sake, as it is essential to look after your health, and not to allow her to drag it down. And also contulst a good divorce lawyer, who is the only one who can answer the sensible questions you ask. Custody can be a complex issue ; and you might be partly liable for the expenses of caring for your own children if she gained custody.
I see no reason why you would be expected to continue to support in perpetuity the stepson, who would become the responsibility of her and her ex-husband. Simiarly, I don't see any way in which you could be considered liable for the further costs of her business, which is her afair and not necessarily yours. It would be more of a question as to whether you should receive some share of any profits from the business, now or later, as you financed it from the start.
There are technical issues relating to HOW you were married. And in a divorce she would be required to disclose in full her earnings an perhaps expenditures on the business. She might have difficulty claiming any expenses for her own life after a divorce - especially if her first husband is apparently not payin anything - again, she'd have to disclose that.
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