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Question
Posted by: DesyM | 2011-10-10

emotionally detached

Hi my spouse says that she is emotionally detached from our marriage for a very long long time (like after17yrs), she does not feel anything for the marriage and says she has been pretending to be there and in it for a long time, she does not feel for any type of intamacy, romance or any sex at all , she says she does feel for it ,want it desire it, she does not feel IT, period, it so bad that she actually wants out of the marriage completely and says she does not even want me as well, that i should just move on with someone else who will make me happy, cos she can''t do that for me, she says she tired and wants to be on her own with my 2 kids ,she also says she has come to a point where she has stopped lyiing to herself and pretending that she is in the marriage,SHE JUST WANTS OUTSHE IS EVEN TALKING ABOUT A DIVORCE. Doc PLEASE help this woman is my all my past, present and future, what is going on ,tell me what help she needs or how to fix this. ITS URGENT I AM LOSING MY FAMILY Thanx

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageBehaviour modification

Hi Desy
There is a catalyst in every situation. You have to find out at what point in your relationship did things start to break down? One doesn't ordinarily just go from a happy situation to a complete collapse. A marriage is an agreement between two parties and if one or both parties are not having their needs met eventually the partnership will fall apart. I strongly suggest that you ask your wife to go with you a councilor or therapist to try and unpack the issue in a correctly facilitated format. If she is resistant perhaps agree that she can have her wishes met but at least give it one last chance to rekindle what you once had.

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Our users say:
Posted by: Behaviour modification | 2011-10-26

Hi Desy
There is a catalyst in every situation. You have to find out at what point in your relationship did things start to break down? One doesn't ordinarily just go from a happy situation to a complete collapse. A marriage is an agreement between two parties and if one or both parties are not having their needs met eventually the partnership will fall apart. I strongly suggest that you ask your wife to go with you a councilor or therapist to try and unpack the issue in a correctly facilitated format. If she is resistant perhaps agree that she can have her wishes met but at least give it one last chance to rekindle what you once had.

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