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Question
Posted by: esme | 2011-09-14

emotional trauma

my daughter is 18 , she saw a video of her father masterbating, he has a problem with porn etc.... we divorced 10years ago, i don''t know how to help her in future, she cannot stand " naked" ness from males - eg: tv adverts or naked seen popping up on tv unexpectedly.....i was also emo abused by ex but took 7years and a loving man to help me through...pls can you help me to help her.....

i appreciated your time
tx

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Am I to understand that her father's "problem with porn" isn't limited to him watching the stuff, but actually making videos of himself, and leaving them around the house such that the daughter could find and watch them? That is distinctly odd. One hopes it was entirely accidental, or it would seem borderline incestuous.

If you divorced 10 years ago, and you imply this video event was more recent, then presumably this occurred when she was visitng his home?

If she remains upset by this, then surely she needs to see a psychologist for counselling to help her understand her reactions, and adjust in a more useful way, rather than allowing herself to continue to be upset at discovering something distasteful in her father's behaviour.

You would be most useful in encouraging her to see such a therapist, and to stick with the counselling, rather than trying to take on a complex therapeutic role yourself.

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Our users say:
Posted by: cybershrink | 2011-09-14

Am I to understand that her father's "problem with porn" isn't limited to him watching the stuff, but actually making videos of himself, and leaving them around the house such that the daughter could find and watch them? That is distinctly odd. One hopes it was entirely accidental, or it would seem borderline incestuous.

If you divorced 10 years ago, and you imply this video event was more recent, then presumably this occurred when she was visitng his home?

If she remains upset by this, then surely she needs to see a psychologist for counselling to help her understand her reactions, and adjust in a more useful way, rather than allowing herself to continue to be upset at discovering something distasteful in her father's behaviour.

You would be most useful in encouraging her to see such a therapist, and to stick with the counselling, rather than trying to take on a complex therapeutic role yourself.

Reply to cybershrink

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