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Question
Posted by: soso | 2008/10/17

emotional roller-coaster

i dumped my boyfriend yesterday, because i love attention and i cant get it from hime because he has his own businesses and he is concerntrating on making money, because he has just started it and its not looking good.whenever am back with him, it hurts and after dumping him, iam also hurting, i love him too much and i really dont know how to deal with the pain.he ignores me when i tell him that i dont want him anymore,he' l just listen to me and calls me some hours later just to check on me and pretends i did not dump him,cause its been several times that iv done the dumping thing.iam thinking of changing my phone numbers,because when he doesnt call me,it hurts like nobody' s business.please advice.

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Our expert says:
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Loving attention a bit too much is a significant problem, and can make you unattractive to others --- and the more you try to get attention, the more people may withdraw it. If he has his own businesses to attend to, he needs to concentrate on making money, rather than on giving attention to someone who may want more than he can give. If you react so dramatically to him not calling you, how would it help to change your phone numbers ? Best thing would be for you to se a good counsellor / therapist and work on your own issues, as if you could become less desperate, less needy, less demanding --- you might, paradoxically, receive more good attention from others, as well as becoming free to give more attention to them

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