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Question
Posted by: Confused | 2009-04-02

Emotional feelings, normal or not?

HI doc, hope you can give me a bit of advise here.

I gave birth to baby boy 23 days ago, i became pregnant after rape, im 23 years old and coudnt see myself with a baby, so decided to give him up for adoption to a wonderfull couple i chose and met.

I saw my son twice in hospital but never held in ( my choice) now my question is in connection with me feelings,

The first week i was sad, cry alot and missed him even if i dont know him, now im working, goinge to sleep late and wake up early, try not to think about it, and im fine i think, only when im alone, and tjink about him i cry but its been a week now of focusing on other things, is this a proper way to handle this?

I love my son with all my heart, and know he has wonderfull new parents, and pray that one day he will be able to understand what i did. But right now im not sure how to handle this, and dont even want to talk about it to anyone , not even the SW, and here were i live is no shrinks.

Is there something i can read or do, i dont want to ' crack'  in a few months or so.

Thank you

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Dear Confused,
After the challenging series of events you have been through, NOT to feel confused and to have contradictory and upsetting feelings, is what would be abnormal. Your reactions are uncomfortable but normal. There are no absolute rules about how to handle this, but counselling is something you deserve, which would help you to adjust, and to work through these feelings constructively. I understand that you feel reluctant to talk about it, but DO see the SW and learn to talk to the right people --- it is strong to be able to seek and receive help when one needs it. And you have done absolutely nothing wrong --- talking this through with someone who will be understanding, and keep things confidential, will be reall helpful. If you have family and friends, talk also with those who you can trust. And I am certain that in time, your son will understand that you made a very difficult but very loving choice.

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

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