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Question
Posted by: Ruby | 2010/11/18

emotional affair

My best friend told me yesterday that her husband has feelings for someone else. I spoke to him too and he does not deny it. They have a year old daugter and it''ll be their 2year anniversary this month.They have decided to work things out. She is a strong person, but very hurt by him. How can i help her move past the anger and help her mend their relationship. He looks up to my husband as a very good friend too. Will taking them away for the weekend help?

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Much depends on what is meant by "feelings", which may mean fondness for a pal or sexual lust. They should not assume they can sort this out entirely on their own, and should consider seeing a marriage counsellor together. And then the hurt and anger is something she can work on with the counsellor, rather than with you ( with all respect, you are probably not a trained counsellor ). Taking them away for a weekend is unlikely to help - sometimes spending even more time alone together can flare up the anger and the recriminations. And it must be remembered that it is the husband who has done wrong, and needs to make amends - there is nothing wrong for a woman to feel angry when a new husband, father to a new child, strays

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Our users say:
Posted by: bet | 2010/11/18

difficult one. is ur friend''s husband acting on his feelings for the other person, the problem here is with him, not your friend...there is very little your friend can do, if her husband is really committed to her, he will stop the nonsense, and focus on his family. talk to the husband...he should decide whatz important to him...his family or a fling

Reply to bet
Posted by: cybershrink | 2010/11/18

Much depends on what is meant by "feelings", which may mean fondness for a pal or sexual lust. They should not assume they can sort this out entirely on their own, and should consider seeing a marriage counsellor together. And then the hurt and anger is something she can work on with the counsellor, rather than with you ( with all respect, you are probably not a trained counsellor ). Taking them away for a weekend is unlikely to help - sometimes spending even more time alone together can flare up the anger and the recriminations. And it must be remembered that it is the husband who has done wrong, and needs to make amends - there is nothing wrong for a woman to feel angry when a new husband, father to a new child, strays

Reply to cybershrink

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