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Question
Posted by: Trust-less | 2010/11/23

Email snooping

I will never trust any man. History has taught me that. So i snoop. Whenever i discover his possible password i go into his email and check whats going on. However shortly after that he''ll change it.

Why if he has nothing to hide?

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Good responses all roung. Your behaviour is indeed excessive. In 6 years of very close snooping by you, this guy has never done anything wrong - and you insist you can never trust any man. Boy, are you over-generalizing from whatever few bad experiences you have had so far. It's like saying that SOME of the many things I have bought in supermarkets have been unpleasant, so, instead of just being more careful about what I get, instead I declare that I will never again trust any supermarket.
And yet you have snooped on him for 8 years or more - should he decide that he can't trust any woman, because of this ?
It's good and recommended security practice for anyone to periodically change their passwords, not necessarily a sign of anything to hide. Its also why we don't usually paint our passwords in large letters on the front wall of our house.
See a CBT therapist to help rid yourself of this paranoid-obsessive behavior and free yourself up to spend the energy on actually living and enjoying life.

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Our users say:
Posted by: Randy | 2010/11/24

You must be very careful. I myself was like you and I was the one that almost landed up cheating. He was unfaithful in our relationship way in the beginning when we were going out. But when we got serious I could not trust him even in the marriange. My snooping, calling every minute to check up was really sick. And then suddenly I was almost caught up in an affiar. Be very careful... Good luck

Reply to Randy
Posted by: Liza | 2010/11/23

Your behaviour is obsessive and needs to change. CBT-style therapy can definitely make a big difference.

Good Luck
Liza

Reply to Liza
Posted by: hiliarious | 2010/11/23

Paranoia WILL DESTROY YA!

LOL

Reply to hiliarious
Posted by: ... | 2010/11/23

Come here and I will teach you how to trust...interested?

Reply to ...
Posted by: Woman | 2010/11/23

So, if you know that your lack of trust is keeping you back, why do you insist on keeping something so useless in your life? You know you are the only one who can change this - you make the decision to stop with all the nonsense, go see someone to help you sort yourself. This off course if you want to live the wonderful life you seem to not notice.

Reply to Woman
Posted by: man | 2010/11/23

why not try therapy for yourself?
This is not normal if he has not put a foot wrong in six years.

Reply to man
Posted by: Trust-less | 2010/11/23

I have nothing to hide, my whole life is open to him pin codes and all.

But i do understand what you are saying.

He buys me flowers often, doesnt tell me he loves me but shows it so much. Yes, i need to let go. But how.

Reply to Trust-less
Posted by: bi | 2010/11/23

And if he went through your personal things?
Would you be happy and ok with that?

Unless he gives you a reason, let it go.
Let your exhausting obsession go with love and light.
Believe in him, like you said, he hasn''t cheated before.

And if he does, deal with it then. Head on.
In the meantime I would seriously suggest leaving ''pandora''s box'' closed, else you are most certainly tempting fate.

Reply to bi
Posted by: Trust-less | 2010/11/23

He has in 6 years never cheated on me. i look at his cell phone, i go into his wallet, i go onto his laptop.

I have just had such a bad run with men that i cannot trust.

I have never found anything i could hold him too.

When i find something small i''ll look into it and investigate if this is a potential threat or not etc.

It drives me insane.

Reply to Trust-less
Posted by: Bboy | 2010/11/23

Even though you married you stil individuals and still want privacy even from your spouse,trust is a mutual thing I will trust you with info if I am trusted by you.. looks like he has cheated on you before why else would you snoop around his stuff, I hav no password but wifey knows better than to snoop around my stuff

Reply to Bboy
Posted by: cybershrink | 2010/11/23

Good responses all roung. Your behaviour is indeed excessive. In 6 years of very close snooping by you, this guy has never done anything wrong - and you insist you can never trust any man. Boy, are you over-generalizing from whatever few bad experiences you have had so far. It's like saying that SOME of the many things I have bought in supermarkets have been unpleasant, so, instead of just being more careful about what I get, instead I declare that I will never again trust any supermarket.
And yet you have snooped on him for 8 years or more - should he decide that he can't trust any woman, because of this ?
It's good and recommended security practice for anyone to periodically change their passwords, not necessarily a sign of anything to hide. Its also why we don't usually paint our passwords in large letters on the front wall of our house.
See a CBT therapist to help rid yourself of this paranoid-obsessive behavior and free yourself up to spend the energy on actually living and enjoying life.

Reply to cybershrink

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