Our expert says:
Misery is largely up to them and their choice, and if they had saved up to provide for themselves something they'd prefer to the excellent provision you have made, they could go to it. Not wishing to face up to their own failures, and unable to move, they choose to unfairly grumble at you.
Tell your father that he is very welcome to make any alternative arrangements if he wishes to do so, and that he is very welcome indeed to contact your older brothers and ask them to help.
Meanwhile, realize that for many old folks, who have not had the wisdom to provide themselves with hobbies and other constructive ways of occupying themselves, Grumbling is their hobby, and some are very good at it. You dont't need to accept any invitations to take the grumbles seriously or to feel guilty.
Look after yourself and your child ( nobody else will do this ) - and be very firm, that you have done the best you can, and they must make better plans as they wish, and get your brother's help if they please - but that you may not be able to continue to afford even this for much longer. Let them do the worying they deserve to do, having failed to make provision for themselves.
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