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Question
Posted by: Sannie | 2012/04/28

Ek kan my man nie vergewe

My man het my met ''n prostituut verneuk so 8 maande gelede. Ek het ''n sielkundige gesien maar kan dit eenvoudig nie verwerk. Dit begin my van binne opeet. Ek kan nie meer.

Dit maak my siek!!!!! Letterlik. My gesondheid is besig om daaronder te lei.

Hy is ''n bipolere depressie leyer en neem medikasie nou. Nou slaap hy sy lewe om. Om te skei is malik, maar om op 50 van voor af te begin is moeilik.

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Obviously what he did was very wrong. But now a major part of the problem is that you are choosing to respond to this in ways that are damaging to you. What he did is hardly likely in a bipolar person in a depressed phase, but if he is bipolar, he may have had Manic phases when he got high and would show really poor judgement in doing oolish things that seemed to him like a good idea at the time, and sexual indiscretions can be a part of that picture. This means that, IF this happened during a manic phase, he would be less responsible for what happened than in normal circumstances.
With proper treatment and medicaion it is highly unlikely that such a thing would happen again.
It would be useful for you to persist in working with a counsellor / psychologist who can provide CBT, Cognitive-Behaviour Therapy, to help you to set yourself free from this excessive focus on what happened - I'm not at all saying that it was OK, or not awful for you, but that to continue carrying all the bitterness and horror with which you responded to it, is compounding your own suffering, without solving the basic problems here.
Also, have you thought of marriage counselling, to explore this together and understand each other better ? Not as a glue to force you to remain together, but to enable you to make a better-informed decision about whether to stay together or not.

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

1
Our users say:
Posted by: cybershrink | 2012/04/29

Obviously what he did was very wrong. But now a major part of the problem is that you are choosing to respond to this in ways that are damaging to you. What he did is hardly likely in a bipolar person in a depressed phase, but if he is bipolar, he may have had Manic phases when he got high and would show really poor judgement in doing oolish things that seemed to him like a good idea at the time, and sexual indiscretions can be a part of that picture. This means that, IF this happened during a manic phase, he would be less responsible for what happened than in normal circumstances.
With proper treatment and medicaion it is highly unlikely that such a thing would happen again.
It would be useful for you to persist in working with a counsellor / psychologist who can provide CBT, Cognitive-Behaviour Therapy, to help you to set yourself free from this excessive focus on what happened - I'm not at all saying that it was OK, or not awful for you, but that to continue carrying all the bitterness and horror with which you responded to it, is compounding your own suffering, without solving the basic problems here.
Also, have you thought of marriage counselling, to explore this together and understand each other better ? Not as a glue to force you to remain together, but to enable you to make a better-informed decision about whether to stay together or not.

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