Our expert says:
People who are divorced often do spoil their kids - feeling guilty about the divorce, ( and kids are often remarkably undagamed by a divorce ), they "make it up to them" in ways that are actually harmful to the kid, by cpoiling them and tolerating really bad behaviour.
The third daughter sounds at least as bad, and too demanding. CHildren should not feel that a divorce gives them a blank cheque to demand everything they fancy from either parent.
This is about GUUILT, not about LOVE.
And he will never satisfy them - like a blackmailer ( and this is truly emotional blackmail ) they will want more and more, and never feel rewarded enough.
The technical qustions you ask about accounts ( which sound like sensible plans ) are legal and beyond by expertise.
Maybe you should also suggest joint marriage counselling sessions to sort this out before it grows worse. And maybe grow these into family therapy sessions.
His family needs to learn that it is not "treating the kids badly" to refuse to enslave yourselves to meet their every whim. This is WAY beyond the laudible sense of responsibility to provide the kids with what they need rather than everything they fancy or want to show off with.
But counselling should always be tried before deciding on divorce, especially so early in a marriage with with what ought to be soluble problems.
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