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Posted by: Tobela | 2010-10-02

-|- ed my friends girl friend

5-4 yrs back i slept with my friend''''s girl friend not once but a couple of times &  I know it was wrong.We agreed not 2 ever tell him but she eventaully told him.I only realised how much I have hurt him when he came to confront me about it,he told me he trusted me like his brother &  the tears were running down his face.He asked me how many times I slept with her &  I could not tell him as I had lost count &  he was shaking at the time.I am not trying to pass the buck but this chick practictly seduced me &  I could not say no &  that has since costed me my 7yr friendship.My friend has since forgiven her and married her but I dont think he should trust her &  knowing how much this has hurt him, he will never forget about it.He also told me that he forgives me but he wants nothing to do with me &  wished me good luck with my life. I regret doing this to him,he is such a good person &  he does not deserve this,I wonder if he will ever forgive me.Has anyone done this &  was with your while?

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

So, though this happened 5 years ago, she was his gf then, too ? As you know, sometimes in life another person will tempt you to do something you know is wrong, but it is possible to resist temptation. So, even if she did try to seduce you, that doesn't excuse your betraying your friend. And don't say " I could not say no" - you COULD have said no, but you chose not to do so.
Sadly, maybe there are good reasons why he should be cautious about trusting her - but your decision to have sex with her makes it impossible for you to be credible if you tried to warn him.
I hope you have learned from the experience, at least to avoid making such bad decisions in future. YOu're probably right that you have lost this friendship, and he seems to have behaved so well towards you, before and after.
Will he, at some time in the future decide to forgive you and make friends again ? Possible, but not likely. Maybe if he finds her being unfaithful with someone else he may re-evaluate the earlier episode

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Our users say:
Posted by: Soul | 2010-10-04

Placing blame on her is a lousy excuse, you need to take responsibility for your actions and the part you played in it.
I don''t believe you were a good friend to your friend, if you were you never would have done it.

Personally I think your friend is better off without the both of you, but since he married her only time will tell if she has changed.

Reply to Soul
Posted by: Popi | 2010-10-04

There is no permanent relationship. Friends comes and go. Life goes on, if his girlfriend is a bitch, its not you. Have u ever spoken to the girl, if u meet her again just ask her when are we going to do it. Life goes on

Reply to Popi
Posted by: Neo | 2010-10-04

are you feeling bad because they are now married and you''ve been left out of the picture? if you felt that bad - why weren''t you the one telling him about what happened???You knew him before he met this girl so you should''ve been more loyal to your friend - i have no pity for you!

Reply to Neo
Posted by: cybershrink | 2010-10-02

So, though this happened 5 years ago, she was his gf then, too ? As you know, sometimes in life another person will tempt you to do something you know is wrong, but it is possible to resist temptation. So, even if she did try to seduce you, that doesn't excuse your betraying your friend. And don't say " I could not say no" - you COULD have said no, but you chose not to do so.
Sadly, maybe there are good reasons why he should be cautious about trusting her - but your decision to have sex with her makes it impossible for you to be credible if you tried to warn him.
I hope you have learned from the experience, at least to avoid making such bad decisions in future. YOu're probably right that you have lost this friendship, and he seems to have behaved so well towards you, before and after.
Will he, at some time in the future decide to forgive you and make friends again ? Possible, but not likely. Maybe if he finds her being unfaithful with someone else he may re-evaluate the earlier episode

Reply to cybershrink

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