Our expert says:
Thank you James for the detail in which you have described your concerns and helping me to better understand what you are going through.
Firstly, based on what you describe, it is very unlikely that you are experiencing premature ejaculation.
Now i need you to understand a bit of the physiology involved in erectile dysfunction: the erection hardness you experience on manual stimulation is as a result of stimulation of the nerves on your penile skin, and increased blood flow to the penis which is mediated by activation of certain parts of the brain. once penetration occurs erection hardness depends alot on the vascular (blood) channels and the lining of these blood vessels which is supposed to keep blood in the penis(in the veins). if there is a problem with the vasculature or its lining (endothelium) than this can cause you to lose your erection. even though your blood pressure is now controlled, it may have caused some damage to your endothelium. You should also be screened to exclude other medical conditions that can affect the endothelium eg. diabetes, thyroid, cardiac conditions etc. My advice to you would be to seek the expertise of a urologist or a sexologist for a further work up. performance anxiety can definitely also contribute to the above but i would suggest first going the route of excluding a medical reason for it
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