Our expert says:
Its a common problem, called premature ejaculation ( coming more quickly than you wish ). Like problems in getting an erection, it is usually caused by anxiety, and certainly worsened by anxiety, so one easily creates a vicious cycle, in which an occasional annoyance which affects all men, creates anxiety, which makes it easier for it to happen again, which creates more anxiety, and so on.
So ( advice that is so simple, yet not always easy to do ) relax about it. It isn't a disaster unless you insist on making it one. If it persists, a suitable counsellor could help a lot, but try concentrating on other aspects of sex, including learning from your partner more about ways in which you can arouse and please her, and don't put so much emphasis on the masculine mistake of seeing sex as all about penetration and ejaculation.
If she is interested in helping, its worth trying a method commonly used by therapists ( and I'm sure you will find detailed descriptions online ). This would involve a willing partner helping to arouse you until close to the point of coming , but stopping just short of that point (m obviously a great deal of communication between you is needed ) Then stimulation is stopped, and let the urge to come fade, then start again. Gradually, the duration of the time in which you can ghet highly aroused and firm but without coming, extends. And eventually, after some progress in this regard has been made, you can together proceed to enjoy the climax.
Some men find this method useful even when used alone, by masturbation, moving close to but not over the edge, as you extend the duration of the time for which you can maintain erection and arousal before coming.
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