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Question
Posted by: Anon | 2009/10/14

Early ejaculation

Morning all, I have been dating my partner for 7 years now and our sex life was good up until this year when he started to come after 2 minutes. He doesn' t even last for five minutes I dont even enjoy sex with him anymore cause I already know that two minutes for us is enough and after that he is tired. We are getting married in December and I dont how to approach him about this problem before we get married. I am sexually starved becuase of this problem. It only lasts when I am ontop but not often.

I cant say he is under a lot of stress because everything is ok between us even our finances and work. How do you talk to your man about his early ejaculation without him feeling offended. I love him and I want to solve this problem before it gets worse. Please advice.

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageSexologist

Sex is like a dance - you need to know where your partner is in order for you to know where you are going. What I'm referring to is the need for you to check in with him during sex and ask if he can hold off. Men have to learn to control their ejaculation; this does not happen automatically. Incidentally, the average time to ejaculate without doing something to prevent ejaculation is 2 minutes - so he's quite normal in that respect. What is confusing is why he has lost this control - it could be an infection (bladder/urinary tract), anxiety, or another reason. Instead of asking him straight out about this as a problem, ask him about how he delays his ejaculation and prompt him to do so (if he knows how) - if he says he doesn't know how; he can learn this and you could support him to do so. He probably has noticed because you aren't enjoying sex as you used to - so rather bring this up gently (you could even say that you are taking a while to get into the swing of things nowadays and yo

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Our users say:
Posted by: Sexologist | 2009/10/14

Sex is like a dance - you need to know where your partner is in order for you to know where you are going. What I'm referring to is the need for you to check in with him during sex and ask if he can hold off. Men have to learn to control their ejaculation; this does not happen automatically. Incidentally, the average time to ejaculate without doing something to prevent ejaculation is 2 minutes - so he's quite normal in that respect. What is confusing is why he has lost this control - it could be an infection (bladder/urinary tract), anxiety, or another reason. Instead of asking him straight out about this as a problem, ask him about how he delays his ejaculation and prompt him to do so (if he knows how) - if he says he doesn't know how; he can learn this and you could support him to do so. He probably has noticed because you aren't enjoying sex as you used to - so rather bring this up gently (you could even say that you are taking a while to get into the swing of things nowadays and yo

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