Our expert says:
As you can see from the posts here, it is very common to lose the erotic spark in a long-term relationship. If you are both still in love with each other and committed to the relationship then there is always hope. You however need to press the reset button. Your first step is to share with each other the commitment that you are both willing to work together to reignite your sex life. After a prolonged period where there is little sexual activity you may find that both you and your girlfriend have unspoken feelings that should be aired before you are able to reconnect sexually. If you are both committed then there is every chance you can find success. There are many ways to bring back the erotic into your relationship including devoting protected time, flirting, introduce novelty and sexually stimulating audiovisual material, the use of fantasy…whatever it takes. An excellent book you may find useful is ‘mating in captivity’ by Esther Perel. Alternatively if you have really hit a cul de sac, seek the help of an experienced sex therapist.
Anthony - SASHA
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