Posted by: liefdevolle pa | 2009-01-27


ek het my werk verloor agv die maatskappy was bankrot gespeel het. ek kon vir ' n ruk nie goed vir my seuntjie (6 maande oud) koop nie wat hy nodig gehad het nie en nou dat my skeisaak begin, dreig my vrou dat sy seker gaan maak ek sien my seun amper nooit nie. sy is altyd vieslik met my, beskuldig my van dinge wat nie waar is nie, en verdraai altyd allerhande stories om dit te maak lyk ek is ' n slegte mens. ek het weer begin werk maar moes tevrede wees met ' n kleiner salaris. sal die feit dat ek minder geld verdien en daardeur net-net uitkom met genoeg om te oorleef na my huur en motor betaal is, in haar guns tel? wat kan ek doen om haar op te hou met die beskuldigings en lieg stories? my hart is baie seer, want ek was nooit ' n slegte pa gewees nie.

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageDivorce support expert

1000 apologies but I am unable to read or answer in Afrikaans. Is it possible to post the request in English? Thanks you. Nadia

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Posted by: Divorce support expert | 2009-01-28

Thank you for making the effort to answer in English!
Ugliness in Divorce/separation is a very easy trap and it is the children who suffer the most from it.
You would benefit from some post divorce counselling together for the sake of your son.
Even though your relationship did not work, you have to face the reality that you will remain parents to your son for the rest of your lives and that your son' s interest should come first.
You mention that your divorce is only starting. Make sure that you clearly express what you want and hear what she wants from the separation stating clearly that you do not want your son to be a pawn.
Remain true to your words and keep acting in the best interest of your child. Hopefully she will be able to overcome her anger and look at the situation from a new perspective. The anger needs to be managed though and help is recommended to live through the process.
You can call me should you wish further assistance.


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Posted by: liefdevolle pa | 2009-01-27

i' m sorry about that, i will try my best. i lost my work because the company went bankrupt. i wasn' t able to buy stuff for my son (6 month old). my divorce is starting now, my wife she says i will not be allowed to see my sun again. she is always ugly towards me, says i do things i didn' t do and always blame me for anything. it make me look like a bad person. i start work again but not so much money. i pay my flat and car and food, but don' t have much more left. now she refuse me to see my sun. i want her to stop blaming me and telling lies about me. i am not a bad father, and i don' t want to loose my sun. what can i do?

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