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Question
Posted by: Strange! | 2012-02-21

Dreams of ex

I am happily married and I have no complaints whatsoever about my life.

Just something silly that is worrying me: For the last 2 years or so I have been having reoccuring dreams about the same man. This man is an ex of mine that I briefly dated more than 10 years ago. When we dated, nothing significant happened between us, we never slept together, there was no hopeless inlove feelings, just 2 young people that dated. But I did like him a lot at the time, and just couldnt for whatever reason make it work between us, and the relationship just faded, and that was that.

But I just cant stop dreaming about him. Every dream is different, but the " situation"  of the dream always stays the same: I am always constantly trying to fight for this man''s affection &  attention, and in the dream I am so inlove with this man, and I want a relationship with him. And in my dreams I see him as the perfect man...

Besides the dreaming, I dont ever think of him. But the constant dreaming worries me. The emotions are so real in the dream!

Why would I be dreaming about the same man over and over for years? Literally on a weekly basis. Is my mind playing tricks on me? Do I have feelings that I am not aware of? Was there unresolved feelings for him? Is he a projection of emotions I need to work through? Or is it just now that I am paying attention to it that my mind dreams of him more because he is present in my thoughts. It worries me, I woke up talking in my sleep a few weeks ago, and that scares me!

Do you think there could me an underlying meaning? Or do you think I am being silly?

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

This is about fantasies, not reality. He's an Ex who at one time you LIKED, not loved. When you say that at the time you couldn't make it work between you, this sounds as though he was much less interested in you than you were interested in him. Everything is convincing within a dream, so the apparent sincerity of the emotions felt within a dream don't prove these emotions are real when awake.
Dreams usually don't have profound underlying memories that need a dream archeologist to dig up ; recurrent dreams suggest only very simply that there may be concerns similar to the pattern of themes in the dreams.
Dream therapists or interpreters are utter quacks, and every cent spent on them is wasted. That's a fact. I strongly disagree with dd that dream therapists "need to make money" - they should rather take up honest work and earn money by providing a genuinely helpful service rather than by feeding fantasies.
However, it might be useful for you, and money far better spent, to see a counsellor to explore your marriage, your feelings and wishes, and to understand yourself more broadly.

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

4
Our users say:
Posted by: Dream Catcher | 2012-02-22

People who are happily marrired do not have dreams where they desire another for a period of 2 years.................

Reply to Dream Catcher
Posted by: Strange! | 2012-02-22

I think you missed the part where I stated that I was happily married.

Reply to Strange!
Posted by: cybershrink | 2012-02-22

This is about fantasies, not reality. He's an Ex who at one time you LIKED, not loved. When you say that at the time you couldn't make it work between you, this sounds as though he was much less interested in you than you were interested in him. Everything is convincing within a dream, so the apparent sincerity of the emotions felt within a dream don't prove these emotions are real when awake.
Dreams usually don't have profound underlying memories that need a dream archeologist to dig up ; recurrent dreams suggest only very simply that there may be concerns similar to the pattern of themes in the dreams.
Dream therapists or interpreters are utter quacks, and every cent spent on them is wasted. That's a fact. I strongly disagree with dd that dream therapists "need to make money" - they should rather take up honest work and earn money by providing a genuinely helpful service rather than by feeding fantasies.
However, it might be useful for you, and money far better spent, to see a counsellor to explore your marriage, your feelings and wishes, and to understand yourself more broadly.

Reply to cybershrink
Posted by: Day dreamer | 2012-02-21

l think your dreams are telling you you are not happy in your marriage. CS will tell you dream therapists are crazy, but they need to make money and it may be nice to consult one for fun.

Reply to Day dreamer

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