Our expert says:
Well, whatever this is, its clearly unpleasant, and not how things ought to be. There are numerous possibilities as to what is causing this situation, and all of them could be greatly improved with the proper treatment, which is what you deserve. YOu should arrange to see a good local psychiatrist for a proper assessment ( you can talk freelly, as such sessions are confidential and the shrink is experienced at making it easier for you to talk ) and frankly tell him / her what's troubling you. After a proper diagnosis of the origins of these difficulties, you can discuss treatment options, which may include medication and maybe some personal counselling, and you should be able to be feeling a great deal better than this before too long.
DO arrange this --- you deserve to be feeling better than this, and the sooner one starts treatment, for any sort of problem, the easier it is to get good results, rather than leaving it for longer than necessary
And come back to the forum and let us know how you're getting on
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