Posted by: tired | 2009-04-03

drawing the line

I' ve been in a relationship for two years now. My gf is a wonderful person with a gentle nature and a heart of gold. The only problem we have is that she has practically zero sex drive and zero energy. She hasn' t had energy since I met her. We communicate well and have spoken about these issues and she says that she just feels burnt out. She has had a stressful last two years with many moves and setting up her own business and sadly being a victim of crime. I understand these things take their toll. I also understand that her job is stressful and mentally taxing. That said, i work hard too, I have supported ehr emotionally and finacially over the last two years and I am a good man. By this I mean I am kind, generous, caring, affectionate, I cook, I clean, I take her out, i take her away, I stay at home and do nothign because she wants to rest etc. I feel as though I spend so much time doing everything possible to make her feel relaxed, comfortable and yet also in touch with reality, i.e. that people work, and get stressed, and feel tired but life goes on. She' s not the only one. Still though, nothing changes, she is always tired, has no enregy for me and for us, never wants sex and continues to make more and more demands on me. She doesn' t see it though. She doesn' t see how much I do and how much she takes from me. She just moans all the time and always wants more. I admit I am not perfect, but I try my hardest and am a good person. she admits this when we have open and honest conversation, but yet her actions speak louder than her words and those are actions of always wanting more and never being happy or satisfied. She is seeing a psychologist now and has started anti depressants this week. I just wonder how much longer do I wait to see if things change? I love her very much, but perhaps it' s not meant to be. I wodner where does one eventually decide loving someone is not enough and it' s time to move on?

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

You're a good guy, and so is she, though she is coping poorly with stress. CBT counselling could help her avoid aoidable stress and ciope much better with what is unavoidable. She should be properly assessed by a shrink first, to clarify whether she may have a anxiety disorder or quite probably a depression, both of which can cvause such symptoms, and which respond well to treatment.
Ask her to let you see her psych, to iscus the situation, and so that the shrink can help to answer these questions, based o his findings on having assessed her

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

Our users say:
Posted by: z | 2009-04-04

i think you should give her a chance maybe you will see the good results after her treatment.

Reply to z
Posted by: bozo | 2009-04-03

One thing, the antidepressants will further cause a low libido, for some reason. I think you should give her time but also explicitly communicate to her how you feel.

maybe the psychologist will help?

Reply to bozo

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