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Question
Posted by: lien | 2012-01-23

dood en kinders

Hello

My man se pa is so pas laat wees hy het 10 maande oor om teleef. Nou wil ek graag weet, ek het twee kinders van 6jaar en 4jaar, wanneer sal die regtetyd wees om vir hulle tevertel, nou of eers later. Ek weet hulle sal nie regtig verstaan nie, maar ek wil graag doe regte ding doen

Baie dankie

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

USually children can understand better than you expect, and always they know more than you think they do. Children's ability to understand death develops gradually, so a child of 4 will have a different concept and understand / deal with it differently from a child of 6. Maria's idea of checking for good books about death for children is sound, and check online, too - I usually check somewhere like Amazon.com as they have good reviews by people who have read and used the books ; and then would seek to buy the book from takealot.com, kalahari.com, or loot.co.za, three leading SA online stores, where the prices are usually better, and delivery fairly quick.
Death is like sex, something parents prefer to imagine kids know nothing about till you tell them - and with both, they know much more than you think, think of it more than you imagine, and often significantly and unhelpfully misunderstand it. So having occasional conversations about both topics as a child grows up, dealing with their interests and concerns as they develop, is a useful approach.

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2
Our users say:
Posted by: Maria | 2012-01-23

Moet niks nou vir hulle sê  oor oupa nie, hulle het geen tydsbegrip nie en gaan net onnodig ontsteld wees. Ek stel voor dat jy begin rondkyk vir kinderboeke wat handel oor die dood, kyk in jou biblioteek en enige groot boekwinkel. Soek een wat toepaslik is vir jou kinders se vlak van ontwikkeling en wat jou gesien se waardes rondom die dood weerspieë l, en begin lees dit oor ''n paar maande vir hulle. Sterkte.

Reply to Maria
Posted by: cybershrink | 2012-01-23

USually children can understand better than you expect, and always they know more than you think they do. Children's ability to understand death develops gradually, so a child of 4 will have a different concept and understand / deal with it differently from a child of 6. Maria's idea of checking for good books about death for children is sound, and check online, too - I usually check somewhere like Amazon.com as they have good reviews by people who have read and used the books ; and then would seek to buy the book from takealot.com, kalahari.com, or loot.co.za, three leading SA online stores, where the prices are usually better, and delivery fairly quick.
Death is like sex, something parents prefer to imagine kids know nothing about till you tell them - and with both, they know much more than you think, think of it more than you imagine, and often significantly and unhelpfully misunderstand it. So having occasional conversations about both topics as a child grows up, dealing with their interests and concerns as they develop, is a useful approach.

Reply to cybershrink

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