advertisement
Question
Posted by: Anon | 2011-01-10

Dont like my husband

I''ve been married for 6 yrs and finding my husband more and more annoying, its not that I dont love him its just that I dont like him much these days. His a loving father to our kids and does things around the house on occasion, but the way he treats others is what turns me off, his constantly making promises and saying things to others and never going through it, def not a man of his word. I have tried to confront him but he just shrugs me off. What do I do how can I live with someone like this??

Not what you were looking for? Try searching again, or ask your own question
Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Love and like are less automatically connected than most people seem to assume. IS it his behaviours that have changed, though, or your attitude towards them ? Does he lie to others for gain, or it is, as sometimes is mistakenly done by people who are trying too hard to be nice, that he makes promises even if he knows he will not be able to go through with it, because he assumes this is what people want to hear, and what will make them happy ?
I wish whoever is mass marketing "confrontation" would go off to the Polar ice and confront some polar bears. Cofrontation is not useful at all. That's different from talking calmly and pleasantly to someone,
For instance, you might ( after repeating some of the very nice things you have said about him here ) say to him that you are worried that he often seems to make promises to other people, perhaps hoping this would make them happy, but which he won't be able to keep, which may end up increasing their disappointment.
Having lived and worked in various parts of the world, I find this type of problem seems much more common in SA, where people issue invitations and make promises they clearly have no intention of keeping, and apparently without realizing how annoying and disappointing this can be.

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

11
Our users say:
Posted by: JZee May-May | 2011-01-11

So are you becoming partners, no wonder your partners lie to you like this, you deserve each other.

Reply to JZee May-May
Posted by: Anon Guy | 2011-01-11

Thank will mail you shortly

Reply to Anon Guy
Posted by: Anon | 2011-01-11

stacew079 at (cannot use the proper at) gmail.com

Reply to Anon
Posted by: Anon Guy | 2011-01-11

If i may ask how old are you guys and how many kids?

Reply to Anon Guy
Posted by: Anon Guy | 2011-01-11

I agree only time will reveal what will happen. So we are in the same boat hey. It would be really nice to be in touch chatting about our situation.

Reply to Anon Guy
Posted by: Anon | 2011-01-11

yes we do, it wont be easy for me either believe me, but what is the point of being unhappy with someone when you can be alone and unhappy?? But whether that will happen will be revealed in time.

Reply to Anon
Posted by: Anon Guy | 2011-01-11

Thanks Anon and hope you guys can work it out also. Its not that easy to walk away in my case. Do you guys have any kids?

Reply to Anon Guy
Posted by: Anon | 2011-01-11

At Anon Guy –  hope your issues with your wife can be worked out too, if not move on that’ s what I intend to do.

Reply to Anon
Posted by: Anon | 2011-01-11

Thank you for your reply, it’ s as if a light bulb went off as I read this (has my attitude changed towards his behavior) ABSOLUTELY. The more I think about it, his almost always been this way it’ s just not bothered me as much before. It does now especially that it’ s being directed at me through either family or friends. I will try your approach. Thanks again for the advise of for clearing it up.

Reply to Anon
Posted by: Anon Guy | 2011-01-11

I feel the same way towards my wife.

Reply to Anon Guy
Posted by: cybershrink | 2011-01-10

Love and like are less automatically connected than most people seem to assume. IS it his behaviours that have changed, though, or your attitude towards them ? Does he lie to others for gain, or it is, as sometimes is mistakenly done by people who are trying too hard to be nice, that he makes promises even if he knows he will not be able to go through with it, because he assumes this is what people want to hear, and what will make them happy ?
I wish whoever is mass marketing "confrontation" would go off to the Polar ice and confront some polar bears. Cofrontation is not useful at all. That's different from talking calmly and pleasantly to someone,
For instance, you might ( after repeating some of the very nice things you have said about him here ) say to him that you are worried that he often seems to make promises to other people, perhaps hoping this would make them happy, but which he won't be able to keep, which may end up increasing their disappointment.
Having lived and worked in various parts of the world, I find this type of problem seems much more common in SA, where people issue invitations and make promises they clearly have no intention of keeping, and apparently without realizing how annoying and disappointing this can be.

Reply to cybershrink

Have your say

Thanks for commenting! Your comment will appear on the site shortly.
Thanks for commenting! Your comment will appear on the site shortly.
advertisement