advertisement
Question
Posted by: Confused and Dont Know what to do | 2012/03/09

Dont know what to think

I met a guy last year when working in his country. He is in the process of divorce after being separated with his wife for 3 years. He expressed interest in me and said he wanted to marry me. He says my being sent to work in his country was not accidental but God intended it so that we find each other. He visited me in my country in January and proposed. I am wearing the ring but I told him to give me time to think about it. Please believe this....I once told him I couldn''t go on with the relationship, he ended up in hospital with very high blood pressure. His brother telephoned me and begged me to just make things right to save his life as he was in a very bad condition and then we could resolve our differences when he is out of hospital. I have just returned from his country where he invited me to visit him, I met his relatives and 2 children. He is very caring, affectionate and treats me very well plus lavish gifts and all. I hear from close sources that his relationship with this wife broke because she was unfaithful and used a big amount of his money on her boyfriend thus the divorce case. He had a bank account in her name where he used to save money for her and the family but she took the money and gave to her boyfriend. He wants to come and see my parents in April so as to perform the traditional rites before we have a church wedding. He has asked me to make arrangements to register a company so that he can finance it for us to start a family business. He just ordered a Range-rover Sport worth USD 50,000 to be delivered to me in the country where I live. Is this guy real? is all these real? I just don''t know what to make out of all this...considering he has only known me for 3 months. We have spent sometime together though and we speak everyday on phone. I am just confused.

Not what you were looking for? Try searching again, or ask your own question
Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Get real. Forming any serious relationship with someone still in the process of divorce ( and maybe you have only his word for that ) is very risky. Only when someone is emotionally free from the previous attachment are they free to form a possibly sound relationship with anyone else.
For him not to just be friendly, but to ask you ( who he barely knew ) to marry him at that stage and in that situation, is absurd and suggests there was something very different going on.
Nomatter what religion one might follow, God does not arrange affairs and dating services like that.
Why on earth did he need to be in such a desperate rush to marry you ? Maybe to get easier acess to live and work in this country ?
Anyway, nothing you said could have caused him to be hospitalized with high blood pressure ( if indeed that even happened - again, you only have their word for it ). Maybe he did have an unfaithful and bad wife - but again, you only have what he and his close friends and accomplices have claimed.
I would find it very hard to beleieve this is all for real, and would be very cautious about assuming that it is.
Why Not is dangerously naive - you have VERY much to lose, including money, reputation, personal freedom and even your life, in childishly assuming this guy is for real, and that even if he were genuine, that its a great idea to rush into marrying him. And agsin, don't ask the Lord for a sign - God doesn't run a dating service

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

5
Our users say:
Posted by: kok | 2012/03/09

Cybershrink!! you are not God, so you cannot tell us what God can and cannot do. My take is Confused should take her time, get to know the man better before accepting....maybe there is something there after all.

Reply to kok
Posted by: Why not | 2012/03/09

Take that chance lady, what have you to loose...except the love you would feel for him once things get close and personal between yourselves. He might just be the right man, all you need to do is pray and asked the Lord to give you " something"  to confirm this is the right guy.. and have faith that you WILL get an answer. God is mighty slow...BUT NEVER LATE..

Reply to Why not
Posted by: Seriously | 2012/03/09

If it was me, I would run like hell. You have known each other for 3 months and he is talking family business and expensive cars! I don''t think so my dear ... you cannot know someone who lives in another country after only three months and a few telephone calls. Sorry to burst your bubble, but then again, maybe it''s me, I don''t readily or easily trust people, especially men. Once bitten, twice shy as they say???!! Good luck, I hope i am wrong!

Reply to Seriously
Posted by: I smell a rat | 2012/03/09

OMW,woman have instincts for a reason,use them to protect yourself.If he is so wonderful and innocent,ask him to let you meet aor speak to his ex.Every story has two sides.Theres so many stories like yours in the papers and magazines except only when the person is dead or missing or deep trouble.Pleasae check him out with the police in his country or whatever.If he is genuine he should be totaaly supportive of your dubiety or uncertainty and help to put your mind at ease.Please dont become another victim.I praay he is the wonderful man you seeing for 3 months and you will be happy but be careful

Reply to I smell a rat
Posted by: cybershrink | 2012/03/09

Get real. Forming any serious relationship with someone still in the process of divorce ( and maybe you have only his word for that ) is very risky. Only when someone is emotionally free from the previous attachment are they free to form a possibly sound relationship with anyone else.
For him not to just be friendly, but to ask you ( who he barely knew ) to marry him at that stage and in that situation, is absurd and suggests there was something very different going on.
Nomatter what religion one might follow, God does not arrange affairs and dating services like that.
Why on earth did he need to be in such a desperate rush to marry you ? Maybe to get easier acess to live and work in this country ?
Anyway, nothing you said could have caused him to be hospitalized with high blood pressure ( if indeed that even happened - again, you only have their word for it ). Maybe he did have an unfaithful and bad wife - but again, you only have what he and his close friends and accomplices have claimed.
I would find it very hard to beleieve this is all for real, and would be very cautious about assuming that it is.
Why Not is dangerously naive - you have VERY much to lose, including money, reputation, personal freedom and even your life, in childishly assuming this guy is for real, and that even if he were genuine, that its a great idea to rush into marrying him. And agsin, don't ask the Lord for a sign - God doesn't run a dating service

Reply to cybershrink

Have your say

Thanks for commenting! Your comment will appear on the site shortly.
Thanks for commenting! Your comment will appear on the site shortly.
advertisement