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Question
Posted by: annie | 2011/09/30

dont know what happening

I am with this guy since June.He use to come every day and night.actually spoiling me.going out.i am 43 and he 41.then his car broke and did not see him for a time. since his car is fixed he hardly come to me anymore. HIs excuse now is he dont have petrol money and dont want to take money from me.
I keep on telling him he must tell me if he dont want to be with me anymore but always avoiding this. told him want to speak to him then he say he realy like me and dont regret meeting me, but i hardly see him. i cant understand this changed in him. should i just stoped seeing him. i decided not last night not to answer his messages anymore if he sent me. and not to text him anymore, is this decision right.how can someone be so all over my space and now suddenly have excuses.i told him he dont have to come to me anymore then he said he will come when his sort out his money problems. i somehow dont believe him.dont know what he is busy with and he is always on facebook one of the things i hate of him.when i speak to him about it he say that i am melodramatic.

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Is it possible he genuinely can't afford it ? And that he feels embarrassed to see or talk with you while he's financially having problems ? But maybe the pair of you need to get together again, even just once for cofee, to talk this through, so you can each understand the other's feelings, and know what is actually going on ? But maybe just leave with grace, and leave him with the losers of facebook

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Our users say:
Posted by: Obvious | 2011/10/03

If you want advice only from a shrink, rather just PAY for a one - on one !
On a forum you will get opinions from others - when you do be gracious in accepting they have given there time to respond.
Anons post was hard in accusing you of being poorly educated and immature. But your posts do give this immpresion. Maybe some introspection is called for.......
Annie you have shown yourself in a very bad light - it is possible this man also saw this side of you which is why he is no longer interested in you.

Reply to Obvious
Posted by: annie | 2011/10/03

yes i did not ask for your advice.you not cyberdr......keep you opinion to your self.mr know it all

Reply to annie
Posted by: Anon | 2011/10/02

For an adult, your grammer and use of the English language is terrible. You do sound like a teen- no one even said anything about other websites but you say he''s not on these ''websides'' and the poster is confused? Girl, you need to learn to SPELL properly, READ properly and WRITE properly then maybe someone will take you seriously.

Reply to Anon
Posted by: Obvious | 2011/09/30

Annie this is called dating! His feelings did not develop for you. lf we did not date we would marry after the first meeting!
You do sound melodramatic, you wre only dating for 16 weeks!

Reply to Obvious
Posted by: annie | 2011/09/30

dont know you and the guy i am with dont go onto these websides. so you are also 1 of the confuse people

Reply to annie
Posted by: Friend. | 2011/09/30

If somebody makes you feel so confused and mixed up then rather let them go. There are less confusing people out there (believe it or not). You''re just going to end up hurt the longer you stay in contact with me. And that''s not a nice feeling.

Reply to Friend.
Posted by: Tisa | 2011/09/30

I think five letters explain the kind of guy this man is

Gimme an L gimme an O gimme a S gimme an E gimme an R.

Exit this one with as much dignity as possible by ending it now, and without fuss. He is probably with someone else but is not cutting you off completely because he needs a back-up plan. You are his Option B in fact perhaps you are an Option C and you don''t even know it. No man shd be allowed to blow hot and cold in your life, it is either he is with you or he is not. He can''t sit on the fence. And when he pleaded poverty, it was not a good idea to offer him petrol money to come and see you. The fact that he even turned that down, should tell you a lot.

Don''t ask him for an explanation or say you need to see him to end it. Preserve yr dignity. Since he likes FB so much send a msg on FB saying goodbye and have a good life. He will see it within 2 minutes I''m sure. Refuse to entertain any communicaiton with him after that. You are someone''s Option A - don''t waste time being this guy''s back-up plan.

Reply to Tisa
Posted by: cybershrink | 2011/09/30

Is it possible he genuinely can't afford it ? And that he feels embarrassed to see or talk with you while he's financially having problems ? But maybe the pair of you need to get together again, even just once for cofee, to talk this through, so you can each understand the other's feelings, and know what is actually going on ? But maybe just leave with grace, and leave him with the losers of facebook

Reply to cybershrink

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