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Question
Posted by: dont know | 2010/12/02

Dont know

Good morning Cs

I’ m stuck in a very weird situation and don’ t know what to do or what to say… .
So I’ m in a relationship now for say 4 months and just relocated to a new house, thing is that
My ex girl phoned me and she has some troubles .So I’ m not going to elaborate on that but it was quite bad . and I’ m always willing to listen and help if I can.
So it came down to she needed a place to stay ,so in the moment of all this ,me and my big mouth told her how bout you come stay with me till you sort out your things. not thinking about what i just done...
So guess what she is now at my place!!! Hahahaha NOT GOOD. I have not told my new girlfriend about it yet ,as I don’ t think it is going to go down well ( she does not live with me), and it all happened so fast, and to make it even more complicated , me and my ex still have feelings for each other witch Is strong but will not be acted on from my side, as I don’ t cheat on my GF (we where together 7 years) she on the other hand does not mind that I have a GF and makes it feel like we together
So my question is how do I handle this?
How do I tell my current girlfriend that my ex just moved in for a week, month, more? And
How do I handle my ex gf to make her understand it is over and I only want to help and not try again?
Hahahahaha don’ t know how I always get into this things

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Its so easy, isn't it, to be wise AFTER the decision ? It might have worked ou fine if you'd told her -"this would probably upset my present gf, let me call her and see what she thinks about this, before I decide " or womething like that. And if it involves ANYONE coming to stay, work out some ground-rules and maximum length of stay in advance.
If you think your currrent gf won't take it welll when you tell her - how mmuch better do you think she'll take it when she discovers the situation AND finds out you have NOT been telling her ?

Firstly, end the uncertainty - whatever pickle the ex is in, this stay cannot possibly be open-ended. Agree with her on a fixed duration, preferably a week or two - she must surely have family or other friends she can move to if she has not yet sorted herself out. ( Before this is fixed, its less clear what you would be trying to tell your current gf ). Then maybe talk to your current gf, asking her advice about a very difficult situation that has arisen - maybe that you thought this was an emergency that might involve a stay of a day or two, and now need to arrange for it to end asap.

Then I note your laters comments suggest this is just what you did, and it has apparently ( if this is a genuine question ) worked out and resolved itself

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Our users say:
Posted by: cybershrink | 2010/12/04

Its so easy, isn't it, to be wise AFTER the decision ? It might have worked ou fine if you'd told her -"this would probably upset my present gf, let me call her and see what she thinks about this, before I decide " or womething like that. And if it involves ANYONE coming to stay, work out some ground-rules and maximum length of stay in advance.
If you think your currrent gf won't take it welll when you tell her - how mmuch better do you think she'll take it when she discovers the situation AND finds out you have NOT been telling her ?

Firstly, end the uncertainty - whatever pickle the ex is in, this stay cannot possibly be open-ended. Agree with her on a fixed duration, preferably a week or two - she must surely have family or other friends she can move to if she has not yet sorted herself out. ( Before this is fixed, its less clear what you would be trying to tell your current gf ). Then maybe talk to your current gf, asking her advice about a very difficult situation that has arisen - maybe that you thought this was an emergency that might involve a stay of a day or two, and now need to arrange for it to end asap.

Then I note your laters comments suggest this is just what you did, and it has apparently ( if this is a genuine question ) worked out and resolved itself

Reply to cybershrink
Posted by: Dont know | 2010/12/02

So I asked the ex gf to leave in a very nice way and told her I’ m sorry but this will mess up my current relationship so she will be out by the morning also told my current gf about what happened and she took it up ok and understands I only wanted to help a person in great need as i dont want to share what happened so you wont understand why i told her to stay over for a few days

Reply to Dont know
Posted by: a4d | 2010/12/02

Ok so I was the gf, now wife, of the guy who still feels protective towards an ex even though there is nothing romantic between them any more. She has on occasion visited the city where we live and stayed with his parents, who don''t know that they broke up because she cheated. I know my husband and this chick sometimes email each other. He will let me read the mails if I want, and once before we moved in together he asked my permission for the ex and her new bf to sleep over at his place. You know what? It SUCKS. I try hard not to be jealous because I really trust my man and I know there is no way he will go back to her, but it''s still hard.

If I was your current gf I would be your ex-gf as soon as I found out. Just do the right thing. Either kick your ex out, or break of your relationship with the new gf. You can''t have it both ways.

Reply to a4d
Posted by: A2Z | 2010/12/02

You move your ex girl friend in when you still have feelings for her?
Your new girl friend deserves better, shame on you. You deserve every thing that is coming your way, which is not going to be pleasant.You are not mature enough to be in a relationship with anyone. Please consider living on your own and not dating anyone until you grow up.









Reply to A2Z
Posted by: just saying! | 2010/12/02

Why are you still entertaining your ex and if you have still have feelings for her, leave your girlfriend ,, you are scared of telling your new girlfiriend because you know she is going to leave you, you are not over you ex and it is unfair to your new girlfriend, move on first and now that you both in the same hous ( you and ex) well dont tell me you are not going to act on your feelings .... you are selfish,
let your new girl go , there is other men that will love and cherise her,

Reply to just saying!
Posted by: two.stone | 2010/12/02

You dead in the water china

Reply to two.stone
Posted by: Screwed | 2010/12/02

Cmon now broer you cant be serious..I''m even doubting if this is a genuine question or you just feeling lonely. To answer you  Just turn the situation the other way arnd...ja...thats your answer.

Reply to Screwed

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