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Question
Posted by: Angie | 2011/10/07

Does he have a drinking problem?

My step father has a drinking problem, I think. Before he lived with us, he was in another town and even when he was visiting (which he never did often) instead of spending the time with us, he’ d go out for stuff and never quite come back until it was laaaaaaate and he was druuuuuuunk. Now that him and my mother are married, he’ s still doing it. He’ s always coming up with excuses why he needs to go out or he’ ll be out and call with some story as to why he won’ t be home on time. His stories are serious, not things to joke or lie about but he still does it (like he heard on his way to the shop that a friend died or he has car problems or something). There is a mysterious friend that always seems to be there during his time of need. Last nights excuse was that his car broke down and my mother mustn’ t worry- “ Thomas”  is coming to help (never mind that the car is comprehensively insured) and he got home after midnight. My mother is going to talk to him about this on Saturday. What can we do, as a family, to get him to realize he has a problem? My step brother lives with his mom so he never sees this.

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Nobody especially not a married man, "NEEDS" to go out and get drunk. If indeed they have a drinking problem / problem drinking, or alcoholism, they may think they have such a need, and act on it.
Sometimes a family meeting, with you backing up your mom, to make i clear to him that his behaviour causes problems for others, and will cause problems for him, and is unacceptable, may help.
Unless and until he faces the facts and admits that he has a problem, he will be unhelpable. And mere promises to stay sober, without sincere engagement in proper expert help, are meaningless and worthless.

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

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Our users say:
Posted by: Angie | 2011/10/08

Just a Thought, he can drink at home if he wants but he doesn''t. There is some stuff there but he prefers to go out and get plastered. He obviously wants to hide it. With regards to your other question, they got married during a time when he was claiming sobriety and he actually was... For a few months.

Reply to Angie
Posted by: cybershrink | 2011/10/08

Nobody especially not a married man, "NEEDS" to go out and get drunk. If indeed they have a drinking problem / problem drinking, or alcoholism, they may think they have such a need, and act on it.
Sometimes a family meeting, with you backing up your mom, to make i clear to him that his behaviour causes problems for others, and will cause problems for him, and is unacceptable, may help.
Unless and until he faces the facts and admits that he has a problem, he will be unhelpable. And mere promises to stay sober, without sincere engagement in proper expert help, are meaningless and worthless.

Reply to cybershrink
Posted by: Just a thought......... | 2011/10/07

Why does he not drink at home, is he not allowed to drink when he is with the family. lf he can drink at home socially maybe he would stop trying to escape to go binge drinking?

Another point why did your mother accept this behaviour before entering into marriage but now only decides it is a problem?

Reply to Just a thought.........

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