advertisement
Question
Posted by: P | 2011/09/01

Do you believe opposites attract?

I think similars do. Is it close-minded to want someone who has similar views? I believe all people should be kind and live responsibly, and I could never get along well with someone who takes advantage of others, leaves his empty cans on the street, does drugs or is physically or emotionally abuse. I also believe in privacy, so I could never be happy with a person who brags about what he does, escially with me in bed.

I have my opinions about things. But while nobody could convince me that littering is the right thing to do, when it comes to other matters where two different opinions could be both valid, I am always willing to listen and learn.

However, people say I''m close-minded and that I believe in a perfect world that doesn''t exist. Often, this comes from people who I perceive as very similar to me. I don''t understand why.

Sometimes we see couples who have been together for over 50 years and are still happy together. Are these people usually similar or do they have opposite views?

Not what you were looking for? Try searching again, or ask your own question
Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Both patterns can cause problems - we may choose a partner who seems very like ourselves, and then find this very boring indeed ; or we may choose someone who is different, and then blame them for being different.
Sounds like you have a very sensible set of principles, well worth holding on to. I doubt that you believe in a non-existent perfect world, but maybe have a firmer view of how you'd like it to be. That's reasonable and useful.
As for the very long maried couples, hey may actually start out rather different, but grow more alike over time, and grow more accepting of the differences

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

2
Our users say:
Posted by: Mandy | 2011/09/01

Well, I''m sure that you haven''t mentioned every example of opposites, so please excuse me when I say that just because someone is your ''opposite'' doesn''t automatically mean that they litter, do drugs, abuse, etc. I''ve been with my husband for 8 years, married for 6. We are polar opposites of each other. He LOVES going out and partying, I LOVE staying at home with a movie and snacks. He likes movies that I think are stupid, he listens to a genre of music that makes me want to rip my hair out, he is loud to the extent that I have to constantly remind him to shhhhhh. To him, I am too messy, too emotional, too shy, my taste in music could use work (my taste in movies is acceptable) and we don''t even have the same religious views BUT we cannot imagine life without each other. He even said he wants to die before me so he doesn''t have to suffer if I die (selfish is a sweet way). We don''t litter, we don''t do drugs, we don''t abuse each other and we don''t do all the other things that you list as unacceptable in an ''opposite'' partner. There are many people out there that don''t do the things you state that may not have anything else in common with. You may not be close minded, but perhaps too cautious to get to know people fully before making your judgement?

Reply to Mandy
Posted by: cybershrink | 2011/09/01

Both patterns can cause problems - we may choose a partner who seems very like ourselves, and then find this very boring indeed ; or we may choose someone who is different, and then blame them for being different.
Sounds like you have a very sensible set of principles, well worth holding on to. I doubt that you believe in a non-existent perfect world, but maybe have a firmer view of how you'd like it to be. That's reasonable and useful.
As for the very long maried couples, hey may actually start out rather different, but grow more alike over time, and grow more accepting of the differences

Reply to cybershrink

Have your say

Thanks for commenting! Your comment will appear on the site shortly.
Thanks for commenting! Your comment will appear on the site shortly.
advertisement