Posted by: No Bliss | 2009-01-15

Do I opt out or do I stay??

I need opinions. I don' t know what to do.
I was in a long term relationship previously, 12 years ago. I have a 10 yr old daughter from that relationship. We broke up 5 years ago.
I met a man directly after our break up. He was wonderfull, caring, supporting, totally did it for me sexually etc.
He has a daughter of 9 from a previous relationship.

He asked me to marry him, and we were married two years ago.

We did arue a lot back then, but NOTHING compared to now. About a year ago we started arguing almost every day. We argue about my daughter and his daughter most of the time. The two of them used to get along o.k, but there is a BIG difference in how I raise my child, and how his ex raises his daughter. My daughter is very soft, sensitive, caring, loving etc. She uses all her pocket money on others, always helps in the house and does what is expected of her. His ex is a COW. His daughter is being raised that way too.
She will insult my daughter and my daughter' s toys, books, c.d' s, tell her how pathetic she is etc. And if my daughter ignores her, and won' t talk to her, she tells her father that my daughter is horrible to her. I defend my child, and will fight my arms off for her, and will not tolerate anyone being nasty to her. My ex does the same for his daughter, even though nobody is being nasty to his little Miss Jnr COW.
My daughter and I have been accused of ganging up against his child, victomising her etc. We are not doing anything of the sort.
In fact, my daughter spent R160. of her own pocket money buying Miss Jnr COW an Xmas present, where she got ziltch from her.
I can' t go through this, and refuse to subject my daughter to a life where a brat comes into our home and wrecks everything we stand for.
We have discussed this probably 100 times, and it seems like it' ll never end.

I am even getting panic attacks again- which I haven' t had in 7 years, I' m chronically depressed and emotional.

Should I divorce him??

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

You need to get involved in marriag counselling ( eg through FAMSA ) and maybe after some sessions for the two of you, enlarge this into some family counselling sessions, involving the kids, too

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

Our users say:
Posted by: There' s hope | 2009-01-16

Marriage counselling at Famsa can be your saving grace. My partner and I went to Famsa when we were as bad as this and it worked for us, but both of you must be willing to put to practice what the counsellor suggests.

Reply to There&#39 s hope
Posted by: No Bliss | 2009-01-16

Oh, so a woman who hits her man with fists when she can' t get her way is NOT a cow??

Someone who hits her own MOTHER of 64 is not a Cow???

Someone who cheated on her man and made him leave is not a cow??

Reply to No Bliss
Posted by: Nancy | 2009-01-16

I hate people who talk bad behind other' s back. we are not sure here if what you are saying is true because the Cow you are mentioning here is not here to defend herself, any woman would like to protect her daughter ,like me i love ,my daugther so much that i protect her from any harm in many things ,but never at all call others cows maybe you are the cow here,

Reply to Nancy

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