Our expert says:
Most alcoholics are skilled at hiding their drinking problems from others, and even more skilled at hiding them from themselves. Meds alone are USELESS in dealing with a drinking problem. SOME can be of use, but ONLY when part of a program of skilled counselling and support. If your counsellor "dropped" you, he/she doesn't sound like much of a counsellor !
Its not a question of dropping someone because they have a problem they can't control, but of being very cautious about investing too heavily in someone who doesn't choose to control a probelm they COULD control. And especially in this sort of situation where you absolutely cannot do it for them, and where your attempts may actually unwittingly encourage them not to try hard enough themselves.
I have never seen any great benefit in voluntarily deciding to declare alcoholism to be a disease - that approach too easily removes the crucial personal responsibility of the person who needs to, and can, change their behaviour. As in the family examples you quote - alcoholics can and do stiop drinking. It is possible.
Its not a question of YOu not giving up - but of him not havving truly taken on the tasks which only he can do
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