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Question
Posted by: flower1981 | 2011/05/06

Do I need help?

I am a 30 woman, when I was a little girl, I was sexually abuse by my cousin and granfather, which my family doesnt know anything of. When I was 16, I had sex against my will, don t if this is classified as rape, beacause I new the person and blame myself, because I was suppose to be in school.

Qeustion. Why when I have sex with my boyfriend, I tend to want to have wild sex, or I want him to almost strangle me, that he must petrend to rape me, then I imagine myself, I''m in this dark alley, and I''m being rape, that I become this animal. Is this normal. Boyfriend does''nt really like that side of me. Do I want this because if I pretend he is doing that to me, I know I am in control stil?

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

The legal classification isn't so important as the psychological / emotional impact these events had on you. It is not your fault. Even if you were bunking off school, counsins and granfathers should never have had sex with you, and that they did, was THEIR fault and was criminal. These experiences seem to have led you into unusual and risky sexual practices, such as wanting a man to pretend to rape or strangle you, as though you were punishing yourself by repeating the earlier experiences.
And as you say, there may be an element of wanting to repeat the earlier ugly experiences, but this time with you in control. But these can be dangerous areas to get into with others. DO see a psychologist for a proper assessment and therapy, to set you free to enjoy ordinary sex without risks

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2
Our users say:
Posted by: cybershrink | 2011/05/07

The legal classification isn't so important as the psychological / emotional impact these events had on you. It is not your fault. Even if you were bunking off school, counsins and granfathers should never have had sex with you, and that they did, was THEIR fault and was criminal. These experiences seem to have led you into unusual and risky sexual practices, such as wanting a man to pretend to rape or strangle you, as though you were punishing yourself by repeating the earlier experiences.
And as you say, there may be an element of wanting to repeat the earlier ugly experiences, but this time with you in control. But these can be dangerous areas to get into with others. DO see a psychologist for a proper assessment and therapy, to set you free to enjoy ordinary sex without risks

Reply to cybershrink
Posted by: Truth | 2011/05/06

Try Sexologist site?

Reply to Truth

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