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Question
Posted by: Anon | 2011/02/17

Do i allow people to take advantage of me

I''m not sure if its because i am growing up or realising that i shouldnt take people at face value but i feel lately that people are taking advantage of me. At the end of the year my friends made arrangements with me and went behind my back and made arrangements between themselves - excluding me. I am very accomodating and dont really get involved in peoples lives. I spent time by myself and with my daughter and would never both anyone with anything. I told my friends this and we have not been friends since then. Now at work we have this committee that is organising an event, we are 3 people. I have to do all the tedious work and labour, i have to design the programs just about everything but when it comes to having lunches and breakfasts with the venue people the other two people dont invite me and I have had enough. I am going to approach them about the situation and now I feel that i shouldnt even attend the function even though i was actively involved. I hate two faced people and feel they should tell me that i dont fit in with there click. Am I the problem here because I am the common factor, or what is the problem?

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Are there actually more people taking advantage of you now - or are you just recognizing more clearly that it is and has been happening ?
Maybe some counselling could help you to become more self-confident and assertive, better able to stand up for yourself? less easily exploited ?
Those guys who disappointed you over Christmas, don't sound like friends. And with this committee, make it clear you don't appreciate being given all the scut work, and being excluded from the more pleasant meals and other parts of the task, and expect to be treated more clearly.
Don't let this stop you attending the function - be there to make it clear how much you did, otherwise they will take all the credit themselves

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2
Our users say:
Posted by: GieGie | 2011/02/17

Many years ago, in my job I made a decision.
I WORK ALONE
Some years later, I started applying it to my personal life.
I am ding great
Nobody will ever take advantage of me again or " play on my feelings" 

Reply to GieGie
Posted by: cybershrink | 2011/02/17

Are there actually more people taking advantage of you now - or are you just recognizing more clearly that it is and has been happening ?
Maybe some counselling could help you to become more self-confident and assertive, better able to stand up for yourself? less easily exploited ?
Those guys who disappointed you over Christmas, don't sound like friends. And with this committee, make it clear you don't appreciate being given all the scut work, and being excluded from the more pleasant meals and other parts of the task, and expect to be treated more clearly.
Don't let this stop you attending the function - be there to make it clear how much you did, otherwise they will take all the credit themselves

Reply to cybershrink

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