Our expert says:
Some behaviours may be more likely to encourge abuse than characters as such. You found your father's behaviour to be unpleasant and menaly abusive, and now, you seem to be saying, you find that YOU are similarly abusive in your two long-term relaionships ? Or are you saying that your partners in both these relaionships are mentall abusive towards you ? Seeing a counsellor / Psychotherapist can help you to learn from these experiences about how to respond to such behaviours when you encounter them, and how to be assertive without being affressive, how to improve your self-esteem , and how to defend yourslf effectively. Its not that you have to change your whole character, which sounds like a nice on, but to change your skills and some behaviours
Nobody deserves abuse. You can also usefull learn about how to avoid choosing to spend time wih and link with potentially abusive people.
The over-all strategy Liza outlines makes excellent sense.
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