Posted by: Chantelle | 2009-03-18

Divorce: What do to as your first step

I would like to get some advices on what is the first thing you do when you have to file for Divorce: "  Long Story - Short"  . I'  m married in COP for 9yrs, My husband have 3 kids on wedlock, 1st being 8yrs staying with us , 2nd turned 1yr in Jan 2009, 3rd will be trurning 1yr in May. He never told me about the 2 younger kids, He denied them up until I found out myself, I called the ladies both of them confirmed. When he eventually agreed that he does have this 2 kids outside, I told him that our marriage is not going to work, I think we should get a divorce, he refused that was in 2008,I went to a family Court I applied for a protection out and to asked them to remove him from the house, up until he decides what he wants about his life, He convinced me that he was going to change, and he asked to cancel the protection order

Being the African we called both families for talks, The issue was left unresolved, he carried on doing his things behind my back, Recently one of the ladies that'  s got a 1 yr old called me to inform me that , my husband went to see her family Nov 2008, he paid the damage for the lady, and he promised her parents that he'  ll be back end of March 2009, to pay for Lobola, I confronted him only to find out that he also went and paid for the damage for the other lady too... . He still does not see nything wrong he does not even try to apologies or even talk about the issue,

I need to be out of this man'  s life, where do I start, I don'  t earn a lot of money to get a lawyer, Where can I get help, I need to sort this out for good before I do something stupid and leave my kids suffering at the end of the day.

Sorry about the long story.

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Try posting this also on our H24 Divorce Support Group, where the relevant experiences of other readers should be useful. I think the law clinic at your neaest Law School at University may be able to help with some free legal assistance. Don't do anything stupid or harmful. SOunds like he wants multiple wives, and you don't want to be part of that. I don't respect a man who uses tradition like a pick'nmix sweet counter, to take only the bits that suit him selfishly, and ignore the rights of others, and the responsibilities that ought to go with what he likes for himself

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Our users say:
Posted by: Wife | 2009-03-18

That man is selfish and very emotionally abusive, he has hurt you and beyond. He should be the most remorseful as***le in the world but instead he keeps doing wrong and hurtful things. Really I don' t think he' s got a heart at all.

He will burn in hell, how can he abuse God' s creatures like this. He is lying to all three you (yoself and moms'  kids). He is just not gonna go anywhere in life, I just don' t see a bright future for him.


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