Our expert says:
Divorce is rarely the ONLY option, thopugh at times it might be the best option. But I feel it should not be rushed into without trying some marriage counselling first --- not necessarily to glue the rleationship back together, but to enable both of you to make a wiser and better informed decision, and to at leaat, should you decide to part, have a better chance of acvoiding the same problems in the future.
It is of course irresponsible nonsense for him to refuse to take responsibility for his free decision to have an affair --- you never forced him to have one. In mariage counselling you could also work out what is happening --- its fair that he might contact this other woman from time to time in regard to his son, but hundreds of calls and SMS are not needed for that. What reason does he give for refusing to join you in counselling ? Maybe you should start counselling on your own, and tell him that you'd prefer not to discuss him without his being there to defend himself, but, well. it's up to him.
Abnd consult a good lawyer --- as Nonnie says, he needs o recognize that he cannot have it both ways, and to recognize how much it would cost him were you to divorce him and get proper maintenance enforced against him
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