Our expert says:
Divorce support expert
thank you for writing to SADSA and for your concern for your children.
It is true that when we have children and our relationship with the other parent is no longer what we wish to be, we find ourselves in a conflicting situation.
Sacrificing your happiness for your children is not going to serve them and fighting over them is not going to be the solution either. It takes maturity and responsibility to deal with a break up when children are involved. It is not per se a Divorce which damages children but the ongoing fighting and unhealthy relationship between their parents.
SADSA supports a child-centered divorce approach where both parents decide to understand that their divorce is NOT their children's divorce.
It is important to remind yourselves that you both want what is best for your children and keep your "disagreement" outside of your children's lives. Your children have a right to have both their parents in their live and to love and be loved by both parents.
SADSA offers pre-divorce coaching to help you manage the transition and get a good perspective on your children's needs.
To help with the confusion, you first need to connect with YOUR needs. You too deserve to be happy. Everyone deserves to be happy! When you are faced with not knowing what is right, think of the various options you have and focus on what feels right.
You know best what you need.
Love and Gratitude
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