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Question
Posted by: Daniel | 2008/06/02

Divorce and take lover?

How does one decide to divorce after many years, having kids and an average marriage??? My girlfriend and I are the soulmates me and my wife never were and this love affair has been going for many years now so we know that we are serious? Our secret came out after my stressed lover could not bear with my "availability" and informed my wife. Wife is forgiving and understandably not trusting me. She is a good wife! How does one choose between a medium love marriage, binded with loyalty and kids and having your soulmate and the life that you crave for??? Oh yes, to worsen this all, I am white and my lover is black.

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Our users say:
Posted by: kb | 2008/06/04

Former lover - no im not an angel, its just i have morals. I gather you dont. You must also be one of those that cause upsets in marriages if you think we are all angels.........

Reply to kb
Posted by: Just Me | 2008/06/04

Unfortunately Daniel, what you have is exactly that....an affair! How do you know that 'happiness' will be the order of the day if you shack up with the lover?
What I would like to ask is this: Have you and your current wife been for any councilling? Have you made any concerted effort on your part to rebuild the relationship?
From what I read here, you are expending ALL your energy on your lover, and offering up 'half baked' nothing on the home front. Of course the affair will be exciting, and vibriant!
Sadly, you are failing to see that affairs stay in 'lust' mode, and sooner but soon, your Lover too will become a mundane partner, once the dust has settled.
You owe it to your wife to see someone together before you trash this all. At the same time, I'm not sure if you deserve her anymore. The way you've worded your post suggests very strongly that you've made up your mind already.
A scorned Ex...my oh my, don't under estimate life! Your Lover will probably take off for the hills(she's 500% the reason for all of this), while your wife sues the absolute pants off of both of you! Grand Palace........

Reply to Just Me
Posted by: Visitor | 2008/06/04

No Former Lover - he is not asking for advice he is asking how to choose!!! can you believe the audacity of this question. he has ruined his wife's life but still isnt sure if he should "choose" her - security over and above SEX!!! shame what a dilemma - i stick by my previous post. Daniel divorce your wife and give her a 2nd chance at happiness - you ruined it not her

Reply to Visitor
Posted by: Former Lover | 2008/06/03

To all who did not read - Daniel was asking for advice as to how make things better. Some did advice and some decided to throw stones. You who don't know how an affair start must be angels who never sin. Learn to listen and steer those who seek help in a better direction. KB, you must be the head angel so go ahead and hurl yourself on the screen, nothing will happen.

Reply to Former Lover
Posted by: KB | 2008/06/03

Daniel, men like you make me want to hurl on my computer screen. You are not a mans arse.

Reply to KB
Posted by: anon | 2008/06/03

Typical male..want there bread buttered on both sides. Your wife does need you to hurt her further. Do the right thing
and divorce her, she is better off then having to deal with a husband like you. Like you said she is a good women and truely so...then why have a affair.?? Does not make sense.
Your lover is probably only there to satisfy you sexually and probably has nothing to do with love , just lust. You thinking with your "dick" and not your brain.

Reply to anon
Posted by: LOL | 2008/06/03

u dnt dserve ur wife sorri. u want advice? u know what u want n uve been hvin it 4 a while. yet u say ur wife is a gud wife... so what led u 2 ur affair!?! i feel very sorry 4 ur wife. as 4 u, u made ur bed... now 'lie' in iti

Reply to LOL
Posted by: Anon | 2008/06/03

It's not surprising your marriage is mediocre, with your attention on another woman what did you expect?

I suggest you divorce your wife, she deserves better than you. As for you, wait on kharma.

Reply to Anon
Posted by: almost mad | 2008/06/03

i feel sad for your wife. she obviously loves you and cares about making the marriage work. from reading how you feel, i wish she was more dedicated to filing for a deforce. The colour of your lovers skin should make no difference to the situation. If you already know what you really want then you dont need to ask us. the answer seems simple, give your wife some dignity and a chance at a better life, and devorce her immediately. dont be selfish and say you are staying for the sake of the child, because no child wants unhappy parents. So leave your wife, and keep close relationship with your child.

Reply to almost mad
Posted by: visitor | 2008/06/03


perhaps it is a medium love marriage because you have put effort into your lover all these years. marriage isnt always about excitement - i bet if you were going home to your lover on a daily basis after she had looked after your kids and cooked supper you would also eventually fall into the medium love category.
go to your lover, your wife deserves better and another chance at happiness

Reply to visitor
Posted by: P | 2008/06/03

Ek wou begin gesels toe sien ek jou laaste sin.

Reply to P

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