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Question
Posted by: MUM | 2009-10-20

DIVORCE &  SON

My husband &  I are going through a divorce afer more than 20yrs of marriage. He has accused me of having an affair but in the interim it is him who is havin the affair (this is not the first). We have a 19+ yr girl and 14+ boy. Boy has been doing very poorly in school this year. Had educational assessment done. Awaiting written report. But Psycologist has pointed out he has low self esteem and sadness within him. I have explained to him that the divorce is a reality so that he can accept the situation. How can I boost his self esteem so that he feels confident to work harder at school and how to I help with the sadness. It hurts greatly to hear about his sadness.

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Sadly, its quite common for the guilty party in a relationship to accuse the other one of being unfaithful, perhaps as a smoke-screen to try to avoid discussing what they themselves are getting up to.
It sounds quite likely that your boy is being affected by the conflict at home - kids are usually more sensitivie and aware than parents think. The psychologist would be best placed to advise you on how to help boost his self-esteem,and to deal with his depression and sadness, as she has assessed him in detail.
But what will also help him is for yopu and your husband to work on sorting out your problems together, perhaps with the aid of a family counsellor from FAMSA or recommended by your psychologist

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Our users say:
Posted by: cybershrink | 2009-10-20

Sadly, its quite common for the guilty party in a relationship to accuse the other one of being unfaithful, perhaps as a smoke-screen to try to avoid discussing what they themselves are getting up to.
It sounds quite likely that your boy is being affected by the conflict at home - kids are usually more sensitivie and aware than parents think. The psychologist would be best placed to advise you on how to help boost his self-esteem,and to deal with his depression and sadness, as she has assessed him in detail.
But what will also help him is for yopu and your husband to work on sorting out your problems together, perhaps with the aid of a family counsellor from FAMSA or recommended by your psychologist

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