Our expert says:
Its unfortunate and still bizarre for anyone to demand a divorce by e-mail - it suggests he didn't feel man enough to discuss this with you face to face. Secretly keeping such close communication with a male friend abroad is hardly surprising, though, as a cause for severe suspicions on your husband's part. But his own behaviour regarding his cell-phone also suggests he too may be involved inappropriately with someone else, and may be over-reacting to your own friendship to cover up his own activities.
Marriage counselling should have been an option, but it sounds, unfortunately as though you have both moved towards ruling this out, even though it could be helpful
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